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#18 M

Watched: August 17 2016

Director: Fritz Lang

Starring: Peter Lorre, Otto Wernicke

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h 50min

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We absolutely loved this film! It’s definitely going on our favourites list, and we cannot believe it took us this long to actually watch this classic when we’ve heard about it forever.

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This is pretty much a perfect summary of the plot

A German town is plagued by a serial killer who preys on young children. The local police are getting nowhere and the organized crime bosses decide to get in on the manhunt as the killer is bad for business. They put together the best neighbourhood watch squad ever – beggars. The police and the criminals get on the killer’s trail around the same time, and we follow the three parties (including the killer himself) towards the climax of the film.

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“What is the meaning of this? Have they labelled me a Mark? A Murderer? A Mango?”

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In the end, we are treated to the eternal debate of what to do with a compulsive killer who claims he cannot help himself. Peter Lorre gives an outstanding performance as Hans Beckert – despite his despicable actions, he is somewhat believable as he begs for his life and pretty much pleads insanity (although his claims aren’t quite compatible with the fact that he sent the police and press taunting letters).

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When even the criminals want you dead, you know you done fucked up!

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It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it was we loved so much about this, but here are a few things that stood out:

  • Extremely cool long shots
  • Serial killer hunt (it’s our kryptonite)
  • Great visuals
  • Awesome shot compositions
  • The amazing cross-cutting between the police and the local gangsters
  • The performances
  • The use of shadows
  • The killer whistling “In the Hall of the Mountain King”
  • Basically everything about it.

We strongly urge anyone who hasn’t seen this film to make it a priority. It’s worth it.

Things we learned: everyone has a responsibility to look after the children. Also, we really like dark stuff. Like, really.

Next time: Monkey Business (1931) Apparently 1931 was a good year for movies!

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#17 Little Caesar

Watched: August 15 2016

Director: Mervyn LeRoy

Starring: Edward G. Robinson, Douglas Fairbanks Jr, Glenda Farrell

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h 18min

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The first gangster film on the list, and what a film! The lingo! The voices! The faces! The incredible nicknames! Killer Peppi, Scabby, Diamond Pete, Kid Bean, and of course Little Caesar himself: together they rule the underworld.

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And they look darned dapper when they do

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The plot revolves around the titular character (Robinson) – an ambitious young bastard who through hubris and ruthlessness works his way up the ranks of a gang and eventually takes over their operation.

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“What are you talking about, hubris?”

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Through his quest for power, he mows down semi-innocent people and screws over quite a few of his friends (despite his motto becoming “Loyalty & Friendship”). Our hearts go out to poor Tony the Getaway Driver. (Who is referred to as a big baby. Baby Driver..?)

Meanwhile, his old friend Joe (Fairbanks) tries to move away from gangster life and instead works as a dancer with his partner and girlfriend Olga (Farrell).

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A wise career move for the costumes alone

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Little Caesar (aka Rico) will have none of it though, and continuously pressures Joe to return to gangster life. He even ropes him into assisting a robbery at his place of work. Joe, despite wanting very little to do with the newfound crime lord still has some feelings for his old friend, and he tries to warn him when he overhears another criminal plotting his assassination.

In the end, Rico’s hubris and self worship turn out to be his fatal flaws (who could have seen that coming?) and the whole operation goes down. But at least Joe and Olga become stars, which is great.

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Never has the saying “crime doesn’t pay” been illustrated more clearly

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This is a quick paced gangster film with drive by shootings, very good costumes, amazing lingo, lots of drama and great performances. And now we can’t wait to rewatch Bugsy Malone (1976) once we get to the seventies.

Things we learned: we need new nicknames.

Next time: M (1931)

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#16 Frankenstein

Watched: August 14 2016

Director: James Whale

Starring: Colin Clive, Mae Clarke, Boris Karloff

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h 10min

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Another classic horror film (and old favourite of ours), Frankenstein probably needs no further introduction. But we’ll give you one anyway. Somewhere in Germany (we assume), the “astonishingly sane” Henry (not Victor for some reason) Frankenstein and his hunchback assistant Fritz (not Igor) are building a man from human cadavers. Frankenstein believes he has the knowledge and technology to reanimate the dead, and he succeeds in his efforts only to regret his decision almost immediately. They then go on to lock up and torture the poor creature (wonderfully portrayed by Boris Karloff) before leaving it to fend for itself while its creator gets married. Excellent parenting there.

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A face only a father could love. But didn’t.

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The film is basically about a bunch of horrible people doing horrible things to a (more or less) defenceless innocent newborn and who are subsequently surprised when said newborn tries to defend himself and turns on them. Seriously, they all had it coming.

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Except Maria. She was adorable and sweet.

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Fritz, however, was a cunt.

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Angry mobs and fire abound, as do pretty dresses. The ending is heartbreaking, although we suspect it would have been hard for the Creature to attempt a normal life.

The film takes its concept and some of the story from Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel, but it differs in many respects. However, this film is possibly even more iconic than the book, so much so that many of the things people believe about Frankenstein come from Whale’s film rather than Shelley’s original (such as the character of Igor, the use of electricity to awaken the monster and the bolts on his neck).

We recommend both reading the book and watching the film, as you cannot have enough Frankenstein in your life. Then watch other film versions (especially Young Frankenstein [1974]). Then reread the novel.

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Then get this hairdo.

In conclusion: you need to watch this film. But if you do not feel for the Creature you are a coldhearted bastard and we will have nothing more to do with you.

Things we learned: there’s not enough Bavarian folk dancing in our lives.

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Bonus pic: our little monster watching Frankenstein with us. He loved it but refused to watch the ending.

Next time: Little Caesar (1931)

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#15 Dracula

Watched: August 13 2016

Director: Tod Browning

Starring: Bela Lugosi, David Manners, Helen Chandler

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h 25min

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We’re back in our element with this classic horror film based on the same source material as Nosferatu, and Bela Lugosi is bringing sexy back to the vampire! I mean, not to the same extent as Gary Oldman, because that’s impossible, but still. This Count Dracula is classy and stylish, and the sexual aspect of feeding on the young women is much more apparent in this version (partly because this one includes Dracula’s wives, roaming the castle in their nighties). The castle itself is a derelict yet awesome building where the pangolins run free. If it hadn’t been for the spiders we’d move in on the spot!

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It’s only a model

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The story is much the same as in Nosferatu, but with a few changes. Jonathan Harker never visits Transylvania; instead, the first scene is with Renfield who undertakes the journey and is warned by superstitious locals about the Count and his wives. He is quickly enslaved and accompanies his new master on the voyage to England where he is promptly placed in a lunatic asylum run by Mina’s father.

Professor Van Helsing plays a more important role in this than in Murnau’s 1922 version. In fact, the scenes with Dracula and Van Helsing are easily the best ones in the film as their chemistry is brilliant. Mina is still the object of the Count’s desire though, and it’s his lust for her which is finally his undoing.

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“Swiggity swooty I’m coming for that booty”

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This is an iconic film that everyone should watch at least once in their lives. There are some great performances and the way Dracula’s eyes are lit throughout is very cool. For die hard fans (not fans of Die Hard (1988), but die hard fans of Dracula) we can also recommend travelling to Sighișoara in Romania which is the birthplace of Vlad Tepes, the real life inspiration for the character. And have we recommended Coppola’s 1992 version of Dracula..? ‘Cause Gary Oldman, people!

Things we learned: never trust nobility. Especially if they have no reflection.

Next time: Frankenstein (1931)

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#14 City Lights

Watched: August 12 2016

Director: Charles Chaplin

Starring: Charlie Chaplin, Virginia Cherrill

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h

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And we’re back to silent films. This time a tramp, a blind flower girl and a suicidal millionaire point out the vast differences between the rich and the poor. There’s also some very aggressive twirling on a dance floor and a well choreographed boxing match.

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“I just want some human contact…”

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City Lights is not as devastating as The Gold Rush (as in we didn’t have to take breaks to cry our eyes out), but it has some of the same melancholy and a certain sense of despondency.

The Tramp meets a beautiful, blind flower girl and (at first inadvertently, then knowingly) tricks her into thinking he is rich. He also befriends a millionaire by stopping him drowning himself and thus gets the means to woo her (note to self: be on the lookout for suicidal millionaires).

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“Yes, miss, I’m totes rich!”

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Unfortunately, each time the millionaire sobers up he forgets all about the Tramp, so his income is sporadic at best. Still, all our favourite scenes were with the two of them including the aforementioned aggressive dancing.

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“Everyone’s about to get served!”

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We kind of preferred the Tramp when he was a prospector, probably because this time he tricks the blind girl into thinking he’s something he’s not. He is still funny and sweet though, and he means well. After reading an article about sight-restoring surgery, he decides to get a job and help out the flower girl. Hence the boxing match (as well as an actual job as a street sweeper, but that is less well choreographed..).

There’s slapstick, lots of physical comedy and everything else you’d expect from Chaplin, including a soundtrack composed by him which works really well with the visual. The ending is slightly ambivalent so feel free to interpret that as you wish. An enjoyable watch, but not as wonderful as some of the other films we’ve seen for this project. However, given the awesomeness of the list, it’s still miles better than most films in the world.

Things we learned: drunk friends aren’t real friends. Unless you get them drunk again.

Next time: Dracula (1931) (Oboy, oboy, oboy!)

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#13 L’Age D’Or

Watched: August 12 2016

Director: Luis Buñuel & Salvador Dalí

Starring: Gaston Modot, Lya Lys

Year: 1930

Runtime: 1h

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Pro tip: want to make a Buñuel/Dalí film even more surreal? Try watching it in the original French with very limited French skills and some help from Google Translate with the intertitles. You’ll never have a movie experience quite like it! What we could decipher ourselves without help from Google was that scorpions are arachnids and that they are (not?) very sociable and can attack. Something then happened a few hours later. There was also a dialogue which definitely included the words “Quick!”, “yes” and “no.” Thank you, French lessons in school!

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The cause of death for these religious types is still unclear. Scorpions may or may not have been involved.

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From what we could understand, this is a sort of love story between a couple who cannot copulate. A very horny (and literally dirty) guy sees sexy things everywhere and likes to kick everything. His lady love is equally frustrated and at one point finds a cow in her bed. They finally meet up at a party where he slaps her mother, they suck each other’s fingers, and she fellates the toes of a statue.

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Toe licking is so hot right now!

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When she then starts making out with her father(possibly?) the man gets angry and starts throwing things out of a window, including a burning tree, a bishop and a giraffe.

A Marquis is mentioned at one point, and towards the end we are told of a castle where four criminals have been locked up for 120 days with eight teenaged girls, so there are some clear allusions to the Marquis de Sade (fun reading for the whole family, by the way!).

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Turns out Jesus has found a new career organising orgies for depraved criminals

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We must be honest and say that we were a bit apprehensive about watching this film after the horrible eye incident in Un Chien Andalou, but we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Obviously, we probably missed a lot of the plot due to language problems, but nonetheless we had a great time watching it. And the chien finally makes an appearance. Yay!

Next time: City Lights (1931)

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#12 Animal Crackers

Watched: August 11 2016

Director: Victor Heerman

Starring: The Marx Brothers

Year: 1930

Runtime: 1h 37min

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Ladies and gentlemen, we have moved on to talkies! And a talkie with musical numbers to boot!

This is a very different kind of absurd from Un Chien Andalou, and thankfully free from eye-stuff… Animal Crackers is a silly Marx Brothers comedy with lots of physical and verbal humour which made us both snort with laughter throughout (but, you know, snort in a very charming, feminine way). Despite Harpo’s quest to rape that poor girl, the film is funny, farcical and very silly indeed. You can clearly see Mel Brooks (among others) being influenced by the Marx Brothers, and never has the word “suicide” been pronounced better.

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Chico Marx has the best piano playing technique you’ll ever see

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The plot goes something like this: a wealthy society lady throws a party in honour of famous explorer Jeffrey T. Spaulding (fittingly for this project, the T stands for Edgar). During the course of the party, a valuable painting is replaced and stolen several times. However, the plot is just an excuse to showcase the visual gags, brilliant one liners and general comedic and artistic skills of Groucho, Harpo and Chico Marx, with poor Zeppo having a small part as the straight man. I can see why Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003) would identify with him.

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Guess who is the one without superpowers…

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The film is whimsical, zany and hilarious as well as very quotable (our new chorus is “Pardon me while I have a strange interlude”). If comedy’s not your thing (really? You don’t like comedy? Who doesn’t like comedy?), then it’s worth watching for the musical numbers in the beginning as well as all the pretty dresses worn by the party-goers. Enjoy!

Next time: L’Age d’Or (1930)

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#11 Un Chien Andalou

Watched: August 10 2016

Directors: Luis Buñuel & Salvador Dalí

Starring: Simone Mareuil, Pierre Batcheff

Year: 1929

Runtime: 16 minutes

Note: Only one sister watched the whole film. Explanation will follow.

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Holy mindfuck, Batman! Un Chien Andalou is a surrealist short film made by Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dalí, and as such, you know you’re in for something a bit different. Two seconds in I, the oldest sister, realised I had seen it before, and then I remembered. There’s eye-stuff. Now, none of us is a stranger to gore (in fact, we often revel in it), but… I don’t like stuff involving eyes. I am never prepared for eye-stuff. I can’t even wear contact lenses because I’m scared of touching my own eyes.

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If this freaks you out, do NOT do an image search for this film. Or watch it. It gets worse.

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The Younger Sister couldn’t even keep watching after the first minute (which is where the eye-stuff is) but Sister the Older kept going (despite my phobia). And apart from the scene with the razor blade and the eye it’s an enjoyable watch. Grotesque, absurd and surreal things are strangely attractive, and this film checks all those boxes.

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Ants crawling out of a hand is nothing. Eye-stuff, however…

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Un Chien Andalou is pretty much indescribable, so I won’t even try. Rather, you can watch the whole film here. But be warned: there’s some gory eye-stuff. And no actual dog.

Next time: Animal Crackers (1930)

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#10 The Passion of Joan of Arc

Watched: August 10 2016

Director: Carl Th. Dreyer

Starring: Maria Falconetti

Year: 1928

Runtime: 1h 22 min (though other versions exist)

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After several comedies (and other uplifting films) in a row, the time had come for something more disturbing. La Passion de Jeanne d’Arc (original title – check out our French skills!) tells the story of the trial and (spoiler alert!) execution of Joan of Arc. It was believed to be a lost masterpiece for many years until a copy was found in 1981, and check out where:

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Ah! Norwegian mental institutions. Sources of lost art, every last one of them!

The film is a disturbing display of the time-honoured tradition of men standing in judgment of women. Joan, aged 19, is tried for heresy by the church after leading French troops by order from, according to her, God. The judges use torture and extortion to make her confess and lecherous guards ridicule and tease her, but she does not break. While a few of the judges are sympathetic and kindly towards her, most of them are treacherous and very “unchristian” indeed.

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“What do you mean this hairdo makes me look demonic? I’m a fucking priest!”

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Joan is played by Maria Falconetti who gives an outstanding performance. It is worth watching the film for her alone (as well as the gorgeous lighting). Whether Joan was a saint or just a mentally ill teenager is never made clear, but that is not really important. The villains are the priests and judges either way with their lust for power and fear of anything that might take some of that power away. And their fear and hatred destroy something beautiful and innocent.

This was a disturbing watch (whisky had to be brought out at one point), but well worthwhile. However, is this really what they used to show mentally ill Norwegians? I think we just discovered the origins of black metal.

Next time: Un Chien Andalou (1929)

 

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#9 The Cameraman

Watched: August 9 2016

Directors: Edward Sedgwick & Buster Keaton

Starring: Buster Keaton

Year: 1928

Runtime: 1h 09min

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In this rollercoaster ride, the exquisite Buster Keaton portrays a slightly creepy hair-sniffing tintype photographer who falls instantly in love with a charming young lady played by the beautiful Marceline Day. He finds out that she works for MGM News Reel and promptly decides to get a job there as a cameraman. Which is kind of stalkery, but he is so nonthreatening that he gets away with it. He is also adorably uncoordinated with the camera, and slapstick ensues.

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“Which emotion am I conveying now?”

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The characters are very likable. Probably for the first time (in terms of films we’ve watched for this project), the hero has fallen for a lady worth making good for. Sally is sweet and kind, and she tries to help him and give him advice when he accidentally double exposes all of his footage. She does not seem to care that he has very little money, and she appears to genuinely enjoy his company. No wonder, considering all the other douches creeping on her. At least Buster can do magic tricks!

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“Where did my coin go now, do you think?”

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The physical comedy is this film is wonderful. There’s an amazing one-man baseball scene, a hilarious stair-running bit, a brilliant scene on a bus and a very enjoyable running gag with a police officer. As well as a delightful scene in a dressing room, which I’m sure we would have enjoyed even if he didn’t get undressed…

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Oh, what is this picture doing here? Must have snuck in by mistake

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This is the one I meant to post. With the distinctly non-sexy swimwear. Yes, that’s the one

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Among its many merits, The Camerman has a shoot out scene which rivals that of Spaced (1999-2001), and there’s a bit with a monkey. It is considered by many Keaton’s last masterpiece as he lost creative control of his movies around this time and eventually descended into alcoholism. Which is not funny. But the film is. So if, like us, you have developed a major crush on Buster Keaton, this is a definite must-see.

Next time: The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)