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#29 Footlight Parade

Watched: September 3 2016

Director: Lloyd Bacon & Busby Berkeley (choreography)

Starring: James Cagney, Joan Blondell, Ruby Keeler, Dick Powell

Year: 1933

Runtime: 1h 43min

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We reiterate: we cannot put into words our newfound love of Busby Berkeley, and we cannot believe it took us this long to find out about him. Thank you, Mr Wright!

Chester Kent (Cagney) is a musical director who is quickly becoming obsolete with the rising popularity of talkies. In addition, his wife wants a divorce, but this doesn’t seem to faze him significantly.

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Who needs a wife when you can have all this?

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He changes his business venture into producing musical “prologues” for movies, dealing with creative exhaustion, corrupt business partners, rival spies and romantic complication along the way. When secretary Nan’s (Blondell) old frenemy Vivian decides to crash at her place, Kent is duped by her perceived worldliness into giving her a job and a marriage proposal, much to the chagrin of Nan who is deeply in love with her boss.

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Luckily, Nan is a saucy minx who knows how to divert his attention away from Vivian

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In order to save the business, Kent and his company need to wow cinema mogul Apolinaris with three spectacular shows to play in all his cinemas, but a rival company has infiltrated the chorus and all their ideas are being stolen. It’s pretty much Bring It On (2000) with better costumes and more sensational routines.

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There’s also a production of Cats before it was cool

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In addition to the main story, there’s a sub-plot romance between secretary-cum-leading lady Bea (Keeler) and juvenile lead Scotty (Powell) which is very sweet, but not that important to the overall plot.

In the end, we are treated to three fantastic Berkeley numbers: “Honeymoon Hotel,” with lots of innuendo; “By a Waterfall,” which features some amazing water scenes; and our personal favourite (mainly for the music) “Shanghai Lil,” in which Cagney himself stars.

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We are beginning to suspect that these films were all a flimsy, high-budget excuse to feature scantily clad ladies, though

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Despite some casual racism, “Shanghai Lil” amazing!

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Like 42nd Street, you can watch this for the story and performances (which we personally thought were slightly better in Footlight Parade), the banter and jokes, or just for the truly spectacular dance numbers. Either way, they should both definitely go on your to-do list. We’re off to watch Gold Diggers of 1933, and we can’t wait!

What we learned: As long as there are sidewalks, we have a job.

Next time: Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933, surprisingly enough)

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#28 Duck Soup

Watched: August 27 2016

Director: Leo McCarey

Starring: The Marx Brothers

Year: 1933

Runtime: 1h 8min

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There’s very little we can say about this comedy classic that hasn’t already been said. The Marx Brothers are back with more zany antics, political intrigue and comedy gold, and we loved it.

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“Zeppo, show some skin, or you won’t be in this one!”

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The country of Freedonia is in dire financial trouble and its main backer, Mrs. Teasdale, will only help if the government appoints Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho) their new leader. The ambassador of neighbouring Sylvania is trying to take over Freedonia, and sends in spies Chicolini and Pinky (Chico and Harpo, respectively) to get information on Firefly.

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“Sir, we couldn’t find a lot of dirt on him on account of our incompetence, but his dancing is surely criminal. Can you work with that?”

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After a series of insults between Firefly and ambassador Trentino, the two countries declare war and Freedonia gears up with a musical number.

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You can’t have a good war unless it kicks off with a musical number

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The film is hilarious throughout, but worthy of special mention are a few scenes. Most notable is the mirror bit where Harpo, dressed as Groucho, has to mirror his movements after shattering the actual mirror. It’s wonderfully funny and very impressive. Other great scenes include the rallying of the troops during the battle, where stock footage is used to show fire engines and elephants, among others, coming to their aid, and the doghouse tattoo including a live, barking dog.

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“Damn! I’m even more handsome than I thought!”

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What we learned: Incorporate more musical numbers into our daily lives.

Next time: Footlight Parade (1933)

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#26 The Old Dark House

Watched: August 27 2016

Director: James Whale

Starring: Boris Karloff, Charles Laughton, Melvyn Douglas, Lilian Bond, Ernest Thesiger

Year: 1932

Runtime: 1h 12min

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Sometimes titles are just a perfect summary of the plot. A bickering couple in a car are caught in a storm and soon the road is undrivable. Luckily(?) for them and their hoot-and-a-half passenger (Douglas, who’s amazingly sarcastic and funny) they spot an old (dark) house and make their way there to take shelter from the storm. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Seems a perfectly charming and not at all sinister place to spend the night.

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Upon knocking on the door, they are greeted by The Karloff who mumbles something incoherent to which Douglas comments “Even Welsh ought not sound like that!” Karloff turns out to be the dumb servant to house owners Rebecca and Horace Femm (Thesiger, who looks strangely like Lon Chaney in Phantom of the Opera), an old creepy sister and brother duo who are less than thrilled about their unexpected visitors. It’s almost as if they’re hiding something in the house they do not want outsiders to see… Still, they reluctantly invite the guests to stay the night and offer them dinner.

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Not even a creepy manservant and a flimsy dress can relieve the tension

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Soon, another couple join them as they too are caught in the storm. This does very little to raise the spirit of Ms. Rebecca Femm (no one can have beds!) but romance blossoms and drinks are had.

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The hosts are thrilled about the whole affair!

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This film was awesome! It’s one of the ones we’ve heard of several times but have never actually seen before. While we expected suspense and horror, we were not at all prepared for how hilarious this film truly is. The dialogue, the gags and the characters, not to mention the use of wonky mirrors and shadows to create the eerie atmosphere, all make this another new favourite to play at parties (which might explain why no one comes to our parties). We’ll definitely watch it again at some point.

What we learned: This is a local house for local people – there’s nothing for us here!

Next time: 42nd Street (1933)

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#25 The Mummy

Watched: August 23 2016

Director: Karl Freund

Starring: Boris Karloff, Zita Johann, David Manners

Year: 1932

Runtime: 1h 10min

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One of our favourite horror classics, The Mummy is another great example of why Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi (sadly not appearing in this movie) were the go-to actors for horror films in the 1930s. In 1921 the mummy of Imhotep (Karloff) is discovered in Egypt along with the Scroll of Thoth; an incantation to raise the dead. Naturally, the junior expedition member decides it’s a good idea to follow these instructions and the mummy awakens.

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To paraphrase Giles: don’t speak ancient Egyptian in front of the mummy!

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Flash forward ten years and Imhotep, looking slightly more human, goes by the name of Ardath Bey and has a cunning plan. He directs a new expedition towards the grave of his long lost love Ankh-es-en-amon (long lost because she’s been dead for 3700 years) in order to be reunited with her. However, since her body has not been preserved in the same way as his, her soul must possess another’s body – that of half-Egyptian Helen Grosvenor (Johann).

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“Do you like my new hat? Don’t you find it…feztive?” “Yes, dear, this is exactly the kind of humour I have missed for 3700 years. Now, who designed this underboob extravaganza?”

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Enter our hero! No, not Brendan Fraser, David Manners. He has fallen in love with Helen and teams up with the very jumping-to-conclusiony Dr Muller (seriously – whose first idea is it that perhaps the native guy is a mummy come back to life? I mean, even when it’s a correct guess, it’s not what most people would first assume) to save her. In the end though, Helen is perfectly capable of saving herself (with some help from an ancient Egyptian deity, that is).

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“Ovaries before brovaries, sister!”

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Another must-watch (so far, most of them are) that anyone can enjoy. Even if horror isn’t your thing, there are some great performances in this one, most notably Karloff himself. The scene when the mummy awakens is worth the ticket price alone – it’s so gradual that it’s hard to tell if it’s really happening at all.

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We swear this is a gif. Just wait for it.

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There’s romance, beautiful costumes, a great flashback scene, ancient Egyptian deities and Boris Karloff fantastically lit. Enjoy!

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“Enjoy, or I’ll steal your soul”

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What we learned: We cannot fail to make a conquest if we faint in a man’s arm in the moonlight.

Next time: The Old Dark House (1932)

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#24 Scarface

Watched: August 23 2016

Director: Howard Hawks

Starring: Paul Muni, Ann Dvorak, Karen Morley, Boris Karloff

Year: 1932

Runtime: 1h 30min

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“This picture is an indictment of gang rule in America and of the callous indifference of the government to this constantly increasing menace to our safety and our liberty. Every incident in this picture is the reproduction of an actual occurrence, and the purpose of this picture is to demand of the government: “What are you going to do about it?”. The government is your government. What are YOU going to do about it?” So opens the most violent PSA of the ’30s, Scarface.

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“I’m gonna f**k some s**t up, is what I’m gonna do!”

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The man f’ing things up is Tony Camonte (Muni), ambitious strong-arm for the mafia and part-time overprotective brother. After being interrogated for the murder of his old boss, he teams up with new boss Johnny Lovo (Osgood Perkins) to run the Chicago underworld. Tony is simultaneously very smart and very stupid, and his ruthlessness, charm and excellent beer ordering system help him climb to the top, gradually taking over the territory as well as the boss’ girl.

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To be fair, she comes with the territory

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Gang war ensues and Tony spirals and grows gradually more insane, more ambitious and more ruthless. Despite everything though, he is very charismatic and strangely likeable at times, up until the point he completely ruins his sister’s life which effectively ends his operation.

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“How dare you fall for men similar to the only male influence in your life!”

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Despite the violence, there’s a lot of comedy in Scarface as well, especially in the form of Tony’s “seckertary” Angelo. There’s great use of shadows and we loved the “shooting the days away”-bit. We also liked the women in this; Poppy and Cesca were great, and Tony’s mother was no fool, unlike some of the other mafia mums we’ve seen.

Another one we’ll recommend if you like action, great clothes, cool characters and the absence of father figures (seriously – none of these gangster types in any of these movies have (good) fathers). The ending made us sad, though not so much for Tony as the ones around him. We’re now looking forward to rewatching the 1983 film of the same name!

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“I’m shooting in the rain, just shooting in the rain!”

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What we learned: Killers sure liked to whistle back in the day. Also, never get attached to the comic relief.

Next time: The Mummy (1932)

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#23 Love Me Tonight

Watched: August 24 2016

Director: Rouben Mamoulian

Starring: Maurice Chevalier, Jeanette MacDonald

Year: 1932

Runtime: 1h 44min

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We were extremely excited to watch this, the first proper musical on the list, and it did not disappoint! From the opening shot and the rhythms made by the city to the train chase in the end, this was a thrilling experience throughout. Love Me Tonight features infectuous, funny songs, great performances, brilliant humour, the liveliest bridge party in cinema history, and lots and lots of innuendo.

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The innuendo would have been ever worse if she was the one to fall on his flute

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The story has something of a classic fairytale and/or a Shakespeare play about it. A vicount convinces a tailor (Chevalier) to pose as a baron for a weekend so his uncle, the duke, will not learn that his nephew is in dept to the tailor. Meanwhile, the princess of the castle (MacDonald) is so sexually frustrated that she suffers fainting spells and the doctor even recommends marriage. Naturally, the “baron” falls for the princess and complications ensue. Hilarious, romantic, musical complications.

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“I do not care for this man. But what is this? The countess flirts with him?? I must have this man!”

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There are also three old ladies (our favourites!) who are seen stirring a cauldron-like thing at some point, a lovelorn count (the owner of the aforementioned flute and another favourite), an eccentric duke, a wild horse, a jumping stag, a very flirty young countess, a chase scene involving a train and a horse, and of course the charming tailor and the stubborn but unhappy princess.

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We are currently looking for three elderly ladies to adopt. Contact 1000filmsblog@gmail.com for details, terms and conditions.

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We absolutely loved this film. The song “Isn’t it Romantic” was wonderfully staged, and the humour, music and characters made this a must-watch. ‘Tis a silly film for silly people, and we’ll definitely watch it again (in about 5 years time when we’ve finished the list, that is).

What we learned: if you do not make “boing boing”-noises when you see a stag jumping, you are dead inside. Also, if your castle does not have exaggerated proportions, it’s not a proper castle.

Next time: Scarface (1932)

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#22 The Island of Lost Souls

Watched: August 21 2016

Director: Erle C. Kenton

Starring: Charles Laughton, Richard Arlen, Bela Lugosi, Kathleen Burke

Year: 1932

Runtime: 1h 10min

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Based on H. G. Wells’ The Island of Dr Moreau (1896), The Island of Lost Souls opens with shipwrecked Edward Parker (Arlen) being rescued by a floating zoo. After an altercation with the captain he is unceremoniously tossed off the ship to a remote island owned and operated by mad scientist Dr. Moreau (Laughton) where Parker runs into several scary humanoid creatures. This being the 1930s though, everyone is very polite about the whole thing and he is invited to stay the night in Moreau’s house.

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“Oh, they’re harmless. There’s absolutely no reason whatsoever that I have this huge fence outside my house.”

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The creatures in the jungle are the experiments of the good doctor, who we learn was driven from London when one of his experiments escaped. They are mutated and surgically altered animals kept at bay through “religious” doctrine, enforced by “The Sayer of the Law” (Lugosi). Moreau then decides to introduce his only female creation, the Panther Woman Lota (Burke – credited only as “the Panther Woman”), to Parker and see if she’ll seduce him. Because that what fathers do with their daughters.

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“Sure, I may be engaged, but if she’s not really human, am I really cheating?”

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Like Frankenstein, Moreau has a pesky little God complex which will (of course) be his undoing, and like his German counterpart, he will learn that if you create life and mistreat your creation, you gonna get fucked. Meanwhile, the audience are treated to such simple philosophical questions as “what makes a soul?” and “what makes humanity?”

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Again we put it to you to guess who the real monster is

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This film is awesome – easily the best adaptation we have seen of Wells’ novel (which we haven’t read, but we’ve seen three film versions, so we like to pretend we have). It’s beautifully shot and has some great performances. The only thing missing is a song- and dance-number but, fortunately for us, The Mighty Boosh took care of that. Enjoy!

What we learned: Oh so much! Ships make people slaphappy; Bela Lugosi is awesome even in small roles; don’t play God and mess with nature unless you want to be killed horribly; watching Freaks and The Island of Lost Souls back to back before bedtime will give you weird dreams.

Next time: Love Me Tonight (1932)

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#21 Freaks

Watched: August 21 2016

Director: Tod Browning

Starring: Olga Baclanova, Harry Earles, Daisy Earles

Year: 1932

Runtime: 1h

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A personal favourite of ours, Freaks is a cult classic everyone should watch. Cleo, a beautiful trapeze artist in a travelling circus, starts flirting with one of the sideshow “freaks,” little person Hans, for fun. When she discovers his wealth, she teams up with lover and resident strong man Hercules to hatch a sinister plot. Hans marries Cleo, breaking the lovely and gorgeous former fiancée Frieda’s heart in the process, only to be poisoned on his wedding day.

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Fortunately, nobody let a little thing like the poisoning of the groom ruin a perfectly good wedding party!

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Even if you haven’t seen the film, you must have come across the chant “Gooble gobble, gooble gobble! We accept her, we accept her! One of us! One of us!” which is how the “freaks” welcome Cleopatra into their midst. She, however, is not impressed and has no intention of being associated more than necessary with the ones she feels are beneath her. She ridicules her new husband and his friends and Hans realises he’s made a huge mistake just before gets sick from the poison.

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Pictured: pure hatred and dawning realisation. And drunk dude.

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The sideshow performers look after their own though, and when they learn what Cleo is doing, they start plotting a little revenge. And what a vengeance! On the road during a storm, the “freaks” go after Cleo and Hercules and make sure they really become “one of us,” turning them into the freaks they so desperately despise.

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“Who’s the freak now, bitch!”

We cannot express how much we love this film. Throughout the main narrative there are loads of subplots revolving around the daily lives of the circus performers which normalise and humanise them, making the actions of Cleo and Hercules even more despicable and leaving no doubt as to who the actual freaks are.

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Hint: it’s not these guys.

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What we learned: “normals” are the real freaks. But we already knew that. Also, Frieda is the most adorable woman you’ll ever see, Daisy is a fool for marrying Roscoe (he treats her like crap!), Venus and Phroso are wonderful people, and American Horror Story: Freak Show owes pretty much everything to this film.

Next time: The Island of Lost Souls (1932)

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#20 The Public Enemy

Watched: August 21 2016

Director: William A. Wellman

Starring: James Cagney, Jean Harlow, Edward Woods, Donald Cook

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h 23min

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This gangster classic follows the lives of two friends growing up in Chicago and rising through the ranks of the local crime syndicate. Tom Powers (Cagney) and Matt Doyle (Woods) start off with petty theft as kids and gradually move up and onward to bigger things, such as fur stealing, cop killing and fornication.

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“Dames and Dolls are just a perk – we’re really in it for the fashion”

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Like Little Caesar, Tommy moves up in the criminal world, but he is infinitely more likable. Sure, he’s a bastard, but he is a cheeky bastard and one of the sassiest sassies that ever sassed.

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Just look at his little face!

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Tom’s increasingly violent behaviour, together with the freak death of one of his strongest allies and his revenge on an old employer, lead to Tom and Matt moving to the top of a rival gang’s kill list and they go into hiding. After his boss’ girlfriend rapes him (there’s no other way to describe getting someone drunk and having sex with them despite their protests), Tom flees from his refuge unarmed and with a target on his back. The ending is heartbreaking and shocking.

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It then turns into an After School Special

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The Public Enemy has it all. Beer drinking kids, old-timey flirting (the best kind!), love, friendship, loyalty, gun fights, dysfunctional families, gorgeous clothes, Jimmy Cagney, betrayal, murder and mayhem, as well as the aforementioned female-on-male rape. We loved it and are now developing a tiny (or not so tiny) crush on James Cagney.

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The face of a man who has seen some shit. And been raped.

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What we learned: for siblings, we slap each other around way too little. Also, if you kill someone’s best friend, expect repercussions.

Next time: Freaks (1932)

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#19 Monkey Business

Watched: August 19 2016

Director: Norman McLeod

Starring: The Marx Brothers

Year: 1931

Runtime: 1h 17min

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Another silly, silly Marx Brothers film – this time at sea. Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Zeppo play four stowaways who run around generally being disruptive and getting themselves into trouble on an America-bound ship. Nothing new there.

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Fact: this is how they travelled while they were still doing their stage shows.

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As always, the brothers are very entertaining and we could watch them just being the Marx Brothers all day. After about half an hour though, they decide to add in a plot where all the stowaways are roped into being bodyguards/”tough guys” for a couple of rival gangsters (two brothers on each side). Also, one of them (Zeppo, who actually gets to play a proper part this time) falls in love with one of the gangsters’ daughter. In between the great gags, excellent lines and equally brilliant music numbers, there is a kidnapping plot and a fight scene in a barn.

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And Groucho has a very strange and unlikely romance with a gangster’s wife. Which has remarkably few consequences.

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Some comparison to Animal Crackers, which we loved, must be made. We loved this one too, especially the stowaway-thing since we’ve both had a soft spot for stowaways since The Greatest Norwegian Movie of All Time: Haakon Haakonsen a.k.a. Shipwrecked (1990). Monkey Business feels slightly less theatrical than its predecessor, probably because there are more variations to the sets and locations. It features some amazing lines, such as “a man who’s licked his weight in wild caterpillars” and Zeppo gets to participate more – he even gets the girl!

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Which is fairly realistic, given the inclinations of most women as well as the competition.

Chico plays the piano again (yay!), Harpo attempts to rape random women (very much not yay!), Groucho is a cheeky fucker and Zeppo looks like their minder. In other words, it’s definitely worth watching. Although we missed the big musical number from Animal Crackers. And there’s no actual monkey.

What we learned: we need to step up our wordplay game.

Next time: The Public Enemy (1931)