#374 Where Eagles Dare

Watched: November 15 2025

Director: Brian G. Hutton

Starring: Richard Burton, Clint Eastwood, Mary Ure, Patrick Wymark, Michael Hordern, Donald Houston, Peter Barkworth, William Squire, Robert Beatty, Brook Williams, Derren Nesbitt, Ingrid Pitt

Year: 1968

Runtime: 2h 38min

High in the Bavarian mountains, an American Brigadier General is being held by the Nazis as a POW. A team of British MI6 agents is formed and tasked with rescuing him before he spills important secrets. Led by Major Smith (Burton), they are joined by (smoldering) American Army Ranger Schaffer (Eastwood) and dropped off in the mountains from midair disguised as German soldiers.

“Ok, boys! Let’s practice. Repeat after me: ‘Hallo. Guten morgen. Bitte. Danke. Ich heiße. Auf wiedersehen. Ich möchte ein Bier. Tschüss.’ You got that? Great! Then I think we’re all ready. This should go smoothly.”

Now, you may think that this will be a straight forward let’s-break-into-the-castle-and-get-our-guy-and-go-home-again-lads kind of a story. But you would be mistaken. There are traitors and secrets and twists and turns galore! Double and triple crossings. Spies and lovers and friendships. And explosions. So. Many. Explosions.

Impressively, they managed to throw in a couple of competent and bad ass female characters as well. We approve.

Because of the many twists and turns, we don’t want to spoil anything by giving away too much of the plot. We’ll just urge you to watch this, because it is amazing. We have mentioned that we have been very pleasantly surprised by the westerns we’ve watched for the list, and the same goes for a lot of the war movies (those are six different links, btw. Don’t say we never do anything for you). This is not the first genre we’re instinctly drawn to (even though we grew up with a father who watched a lot of war movies and who also read the books they were based on), but we find ourselves enjoying them immensely.

Then again, any movie with an action sequence set on a cable car is bound to be a winner.

Where Eagles Dare is fun, exciting, entertaining and intricate, and also extremely stressful. It also features the most Gestapo guy that ever Gestapoed (Gestapod? Gestaped..?).

He’s giving 98% Gestapo with just a touch of Nigel from Top Secret (1984)

Both Burton and Eastwood are fantastic, as are the rest of the cast, but one could argue that the real star of the movie is Explosions™. Everything explodes. Did you know that German cars in the 1940s had built in explosives that went off randomly if they bumped into something? Or if they went down a steep hill? Or if the tyres stopped touching the ground for two seconds? Or if someone looked at it funny? We didn’t either until we watched Where Eagles Dare. Why they made them like that, we don’t know. Then again, we question a lot of choices made in Germany around that time, so this might have followed some inexplicable logic understood only by fascists.

Believe it or not, this is just a normal German car that was caught in a mild gust of wind. Our leading theory is that the cars were actually built by political prisoners who did what they could to defeat the third reich. Well done!

In addition to the frequently exploding cars, our heroes have brought enough dynamite to take down all of Bavaria, and they are not afraid to use it. There’s not a situation they face that can’t be improved with an explosion or two.

Although sometimes they use guns, just to mix it up a bit. It’s important not to become complacent.

We loved the actors, the characters, the many twists and turns, the balls-to-the-walls action, the gorgeous matte paintings, the sets, the stunts, the clearly ’60s hair and make-up, the cable car and all the burning cars. Not to mention the fact that Clint Eastwood, who looks about as American as it is possible to look, tries to pass for a German soldier. Now, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what an “American” is supposed to look like, but he is it. You could look at that man completely out of any context, and 99% of people would go “Hey, look at that American guy!” (Then, most of them would add “He’s ridiculously handsome!” Especially if he smoldered at them.)

Pictured: obviously NOT a German

What we learned: Old timey movie kisses look incredibly uncomfortable. Also, Clint Eastwood is smolder incarnate.

MVP: Dynamite. And Clint Eastwood’s smolder.

Next time: Wild in the Streets (1968)

#373 The Thomas Crown Affair

Watched: November 7 2025

Director: Norman Jewison

Starring: Steve McQueen, Faye Dunaway, Paul Burke, Jack Weston, Nora Marlowe

Year: 1968

Runtime: 1h 42min

A heist is going down. And what a heist! There are several people in play, lots of phone booth coordination, heaps of money at stake, and a criminal mastermind at the reins. This mastermind is Thomas Crown (McQueen) – a rich business man stealing money basically for the hell of it, or out of boredom. Or to prove to himself that he is as smart as he thinks he is. But is he..?

Steve McQueen? More like Smuggy McSmugface, amirite? HAH!
We’ll see ourselves out…

The heist goes off fairly smoothly, with only one shot fired and no casualties. It leaves behind many frustrated men in suits, but sadly very few leads. Then, someone makes the excellent decision of bringing in insurance detective/glamourous super sleuth Vicki Anderson (Dunaway) to assist in the investigation. She gets to work and quickly narrows their suspects down to a certain Thomas Crown based on… well, we’re not quite sure. A hunch? A vibe? Wanting to bone him? The logic is not entirely sound, but at least it turns out to be 100% correct.

She then goes to work to catch her man. Her surveillance method of “bring a beast of a camera and then make eye contact with the target the entire time” is about as subtle as a freight train to the face

The only problem now is that they do not have any evidence to tie him to the crime. Luckily Vicki, passionately dedicated to her job, is willing to start a whole relationship with this man to prove her suspicion true. So their cat and mouse-/spy vs. spy-game begins.

They literally play chess about things

This was a bit uneven for us – there were things we absolutely loved about The Thomas Crown Affair, and things we’re more unsure of. We loved Faye Dunaway, and Steve McQueen is always charismatic af. However, once their relationship began, the film sort of lost some of its nerve and tension. Don’t get us wrong – there were some great scenes between them, and we loved Vicki throughout the entire film. Especially her sense of self: “I know who I am. Don’t put your labels on me.”

And what she is is an icon. An icon with an impressive and extensive hat collection.

I suppose we just didn’t quite buy into her falling for a bored little rich man who robbed a bank just for the hell of it. Now, if he was a suave art thief or something, we’d be all for it! Stealing art or artefacts in the style of Pierre Despereaux is cool (in fiction we mean, nice police people. We would never promote criminal activity in real life). Stealing money when you’re already rich is just… tacky. The film also felt as though they skipped some very important steps in the narrative, particularly how the investigators figured out how the heist was orchestrated and how they ended up with Thomas Crown as a suspect.

Was it the short shorts? It was probably the short shorts. We suspect everything could be traced back to the short shorts…

Still, we loved the stylish and cool heist in the beginning, the split screen which we also saw in The Boston Strangler (so hot in the ’60s), the built in wall bar with the fridge (we want one! Each!), Vicki Anderson – insurance sleuth extraordinaire, and the ending. There was something very satisfying about how they both stayed true to who they were in the end. Overall, we thought the first half was better than the last, but we had a very good time with this.

This! This is what we want in life! It even has a built in fridge!
Swanky man optional.

What we learned: It must be so hard to be rich and bored…

MVP: Marcie! For the vibes. And also the aran sweaters.

Next time: Where Eagles Dare (1968)