Watched: August 13 2023

Director: Franklin J. Schaffner

Starring: Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans, James Whitmore, James Daly, Linda Harrison, Robert Gunner, Jeff Burton

Year: 1968

Runtime: 1h 52min

Three astronauts crashland on an alien planet 2000 years after leaving earth. Luckily, hibernation pods have kept them from aging despite the years spent in deep space. Even more luckily, this random planet’s atmosphere is sufficiently earthlike for them to survive. That’s pretty much the end of their luck, though. They soon learn that a fourth crewmember, the only woman on board, did not survive the crash. In addition, their clothes are stolen and destroyed by what appear to be primitive human beings. And then the hunt begins…

Men. Absolutely no sense of danger or concept of personal safety. “Oh, look at us, stranded on an alien planet. Let’s abandon our things and go skinny dipping. I’m sure those life size Blair Witch monster thingies on the hill are completely harmless and not a bad omen of things to come. And while we’re at it, why don’t we eat this random fruit. La la la!” Please…

Gorillas on horseback raid the fields full of people, kill one of the survivors, Dodge (Burton), and capture the other two, Taylor and Landon (Heston and Gunner, respectively). Taylor is shot in the throat, impeding his speech, and then taken to a research facility in Ape City where he is made into a lab rat by intelligent chimpanzees Zira and Galen. It’s a world gone topsy-turvy!

“OK, since we’re both here, how about we propegate the species? It’s for the greater good, I assure you.”

Once the scientists discover that Taylor can talk, their entire world view changes. Perhaps human beings are not just savages after all, but capable of culture and reason? (They’re only about halfway right…) Soon, Taylor finds himself in the middle of an ape culture war. And Landon finds himself lobotomized.

It was either that or join a gorilla barbershop quartet. The choice was easy

The success of Planet of the Apes sparked a whole series of sequels, prequels and other -quels. And while many of them are worth watching (there are definite variations in quality), the original remains the best one, in our opinion. The score is great, the costumes, make-up, sets and landscapes are all very impressive, and the plot is compelling and intriguing.

The characters are fine as well, but again, as mentioned. who in their right minds would see these things, on an alien planet nonetheless, and then proceed to just frolic in the water?!? We question their judgment and the clearly lax screening process for becoming (fictional) astronauts in the sixties.

The first hunt is chaotic, brutal and shocking, as are several of the revelations throughout and the treatment our main character receives. Does Taylor make for a sympathetic protagonist? Well, not necessarily. He’s a bit of a cynical douchebag with seemingly no qualms about rape, for instance. Still, even he has some very good points to make about humanity and the society he left behind as well as the one in which he now finds himself. In addition, Heston had ridiculous presence on screen, which makes you root for him despite some of his character’s less desirable qualities…

Believe it or not, in this instance beastiality is a major positive step in his character development! (Discussion point: Is it still beastiality if the “beast” in question shares your level of intelligence and communication skills? Taylor’s so-called relationship with Nova, the mute and primitive human woman he “courts,” seems a lot more problematic than this one, for sure.)

We love horror and sci-fi as social commentary and (unfortunately) the themes in Planet of the Apes are still (or again?) current and relevant. The people in power, and pretty much everyone over a certain age, are conservative zealots who’d rather erase anything and anyone that do not support their world view than be open to changing their minds. Thank the gods we as human beings have moved on from this and are now governed by reason, compassion and altruism.

They would be so proud of us

What we learned: Religion has no place in science. Or in politics. Or in law making. In fact, like genitals, your own are best kept private until asked to share.

MVP: Zira

Next time: Pretty Poison (1968)

Leave a comment