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#235 A Shot in the Dark

Watched: June 25 2019

Director: Blake Edwards

Starring: Peter Sellers, Elke Sommer, George Sanders, Herbert Lom, Tracy Reed, Burt Kwouk, our dad’s old guitar.

Year: 1964

Runtime: 1h 42min

We’re back! After charging our batteries in lovely Vietnam (you must go!) we’re ready for another year of classic A-, B-, and C-movies, starting with the very silly and charming A Shot in the Dark.

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We open on a series of illicit affairs and romances all taking place in the same building, and the scene ends in a shot. In the dark. And then a dead chauffeur. Enter Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Sellers).

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Mustache and trenchcoat ready for beumbs and beumps!

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The incompetent and clumsy inspector is the only one convinced that main suspect, the beautiful maid Maria Gambrelli (Sommer), is innocent, and he sets out to prove this. In the course of his investiation, the bodies keep piling up and his superior, Commissioner Dreyfus (Lom), is gradually driven mad and homicidal by Clouseau’s apparent bungling of the case.

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“Bungling? Who’s bungling? This was always the plan. I am solving this.”

 

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The plot is not really that important though. This is all about the gags, and they are numerous and hilarious.

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Among our favourites: Kato. Everything related to Kato.

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There are so many things we adored in this movie. We particularly loved Kato and his sneak attacks, the lethal (and multicultural) date night, all Clouseau’s disguises, and the synchronising of the watches. However, the gags are too numerous to list, and the entire movie is just a masterclass in slapstick and physical comedy.

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Also, could it possibly be an inspiration for one of the murders in Hot Fuzz..?

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We were slightly traumatised by Sellers using our dad’s old guitar to cover up in the nudist colony (we swear it’s the exact guitar!) but otherwise we had a blast with this movie. Often, we become frustrated and annoyed with bumbling, incompetent characters and farces, but Sellers is so damned good that in this case we were just charmed instead. Well done, Edwards and Sellers!

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“I can’t believe that idiot inspector was an actual success! FML.”

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What we learned: We suspect everyone. And we suspect no one. Also, no fabric is safe around this man.

Next time: Band of Outsiders/Bande à part (1964)

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#202 Village of the Damned

Watched: September 21 2018

Director: Wolf Rilla

Starring: George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, Michael Gwynn, Laurence Naismith, Martin Stephens

Year: 1960

Runtime: 1h 17min

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In a small British town, all the residents (and animals) simultaneously pass out one day. They wake up a few hours later, unharmed, but later find that all the fertile women in the village are pregnant. Which obviously leads to some uncomfortable questions and suspicions.

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Questions such as who was the sexy alien adonis who managed to impregnante a dozen women within the space of an hour? And what sort of pills was he on to keep it up?

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The children are born 5 months later (which hospital show-fans everywhere know is waaay too early), and they all have white blond hair and intense eyes. Among the new parents are Anthea (Shelley) and Gordon Zellaby (Sanders). The latter is a professor who enjoys a good relationship with British Intelligence, and he takes on the task of observing and possibly educating the strange children.

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As you can tell from his body language, he florishes in his new role as teacher and mentor for a bunch of creepy kids.

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The children develop quickly, and are supersmart and polite, which in itself is a warning sign for anyone who’s ever encountered an actual child. In addition, they seem to have a hive mind and powers of telepathy. If anyone from the village poses any sort of threat to them, they soon become suicidal and the threat is eliminated. But what is their purpose? And will humanity survive their coming?

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Ain’t nothing a rope and a gas mask can’t fix!

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Village of the Damned is such a classic horror movie we will just go ahead and assume that everyone has seen it. We love the final scene in which the kids tear apart Gordon’s mental wall, the chilling, creepy children themselves, and the unsettling atmosphere. The kids, and especially David Zellaby (Stephens), are calm, rational and emotionless, and very disquieting. Their reactions to any threat are relentless and brutal which works great coming from adorable little kids.

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By “adorable” we mean “ominous-as-fuck!”

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With Halloween coming up, you could do a lot worse – and it’s short enough to fit neatly into any sort of marathon you may be planning. Also, perfect low budget costume idea for those of you with children of your own! Just prepare yourself to be terrified of them.

What we learned: We’re definitely never having children. Never.

Next time: Zazie dans le Métro (1960)

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#96 All About Eve

Watched: April 02 2017

Director: Joseph L. Mankiewicz

Starring: Bette Davies, Anne Baxter, George Sanders, Celeste Holm, Gary Merrill, Hugh Marlowe

Year: 1950

Runtime: 2h 18min

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While the title states this is All About Eve, this classic is in reality all about Margo Channing (Davies), an aging theatre actress, and her circle of friends. The show starts with the eponymous Eve (Baxter) winning a prestigious theatre award with Margo in attendance, looking very much less than impressed. We then flash back to their first meeting and get to see what has unfolded up until this point and what brought them there.

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“I’d like to thank all the people I’ve screwed over and used on my way here”

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After her show one night, Margo’s friend Karen (Holm) invites a devoted fan backstage to meet her hero. The fan introduces herself as Eve and tells her tragic life story, charming both women in the process. Margo, sympathising with her visitor, offers her a home and a job as a personal assistant of sorts.

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Leave it to Bette Davies to make even post-show clean-ups look glamorous

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As Eve and Margo grow closer, Margo starts to see through Eve’s quiet, unassuming demeanor and realises that she is in fact an ambitious young actress who works on manipulating everyone around her to make it to the top. Coupled with Margo’s own insecurities about aging, this leads to some irrational (but fabulous!) behaviour on her part, as she struggles to convince those around her of Eve’s true nature.

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Luckily for Margo, she has the most sarcastic eyes in human history and she makes them work for her!

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With the exception of critic Addison DeWitt (Sanders), the men are generally bad at seeing through Eve, while the women catch on to her a lot quicker. In a way though, Eve is just manipulating a system made by men in which she has very little actual power. The ageism, especially towards women, in the entertainment industry comes across very clearly in this film and even the strong Margo eventually more or less gives up her career and marries her longtime boyfriend despite teasing her best friend about her life as a housewife.

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No woman is truly happy until she has bagged herself a man [citation needed]

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Despite being almost 70 years old, All About Eve never feels old or outdated. It’s a drama with elements of thriller and a lot of comedy, and the two hour run time flies by. As good, and as beautiful, as Baxter is, Bette Davies is easily the star of the film, and we absolutely loved her. A classic for a reason, this is one of those films which everyone should watch at least once. If this isn’t enough to peak your interest (if you haven’t already heard of the film, you philistine!), there’s also an early appearance from Marilyn Monroe. Should seal the deal, we think.

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We end with our new game: Spot The Monroe!

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What we learned: Meeting stalkery fans probably isn’t the best idea… Also, fasten your seatbelts – it’s going to be a bumpy night!

Next time: D.O.A. (1950)