#352 Dark of the Sun

Watched: January 9 2023

Director: Jack Cardiff

Starring: Rod Taylor, Yvette Mimieux, Jim Brown, Peter Carsten, Kenneth More, André Morell

Year: 1968

Runtime: 1h 40min

In war-torn Congo, Captain Curry and his trusted partner in crime Ruffo take on a dangerous new mission: to travel through areas of civil and military unrest to retrieve a bunch of diamonds for the new president. And what does a mission of this magnitude need? A crack team! And a mid-sized military squadron. Or battalion. Brigade? Division? Regiment? We’re not down with the lingo – we never joined the army despite our sharp wits and even sharper bayonets (a weapon much favoured among modern military forces, we’re sure). Anyway – Mercenaries Assemble!

“You know I’ll only go if there’s a guarantee that I can shoot stuff with a big-ass gun from a vehicle that’s on fire, right?” “Guaranteed!” “You son of a bitch, I’m in!”

Their band of mercenaries (and one nazi) ready themselves for the adventure of a lifetime! Well, not technically a lifetime seeing as how they’re all soldiers who have been fighting in Congo for a while. More like they ready themselves for another day’s work. Either way, ready they are and off they go!

And you thought we meant nazi in the figurative way…

Along the way they run into flying attacks, a damsel in distress (who was coming along anyway, but still), child murder, chainsaw fights, inconvenient time locks, Simbas, child birth, nuns and train delays. There’s also love and betrayal, and surprisingly emotional deaths.

And, of course, a sprinkle of romance between the (anti-)hero and the only female character

Dark of the Sun (a.k.a. The Mercenaries, a.k.a. Planes, Trains and Armored Jeeps, a.k.a. Bromance – The Movie) is exciting, emotional, violent and very, very good, and we absolutely loved it! Curry might be in a gray area morally, but he firmly places himself on the right side of history, calling out racists and literal nazis throughout the movie. Also, can we talk about Curry and Ruffo? Now that is a friendship for the ages! The whole romantic thing with Claire means nothing in comparison – Curry and Ruffo is the real romance here. Also, that final fight between Curry and Nazi-boy felt incredibly brutal and real. Overall, two very enthusiastic thumbs up from Norway!

“You know she’s just a beard, right..?”

What we learned: Diamonds are a man’s worst enemy. Also, don’t bring a nazi on your mission. Or anywhere really.

Next time: Head (1968)

#248 Zulu

Watched: November 17 2019

Director: Cy Endfield

Starring: Stanley Baker, Jack Hawkins, Ulla Jacobsson, James Booth, Michael Caine, Nigel Green, Patrick Magee, Mangosuthu Buthelezi

Year: 1964

Runtime: 2h 18min

Zulu

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The year is 1879. In South Africa, imperialism rules, but Zulus have attacked a white settlement and won, which inspires another tribe to do the same to a nearby mission/military hospital.

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“Yippee ki yay motherfuckers!”

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At the mission, Lieutenants Chard (Baker) and Bromhead (Caine) must learn to work together and cooperate if they are to defend themselves from the 4000 advancing Zulus with their own measly 150 soldiers, many wounded.

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“You think you’re so cool, riding in here with your title and rank and stupid sexy hair…”

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Zulu is a famous epic depicting real events with surprisingly little racism considering the subject matter and the time. Sure, we do not really see the Zulus’ side of the story, and they are a nameless, faceless, personalityless mass for most of the movie. However, they are also intelligent, strategic, cultured and honorable, which makes the film a lot less dated than we’d expect.

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Basically, they are people. And treated as people. Which should be a given but sadly is not.

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The cinematography is gorgeous, the characters are great (Bromhead is a very shady queen!), and the suspense is real. Also, fun fact, the Zulu king Cetshwayo kaMpande is played by his real life grandson Mangosuthu Buthelezi.

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However, no fun fact can compare to the glorious moustache of Colour-Sergeant Nigel Green

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We loved the arrival of the Zulu, the British adherence to protocol even in a crisis (proper tunic etiquette is to be observed at all times!), the action, and the game we made up wherein we recast the movie using only Monty Python members (they all correspond perfectly with a character in the film!). And did we mention it is gorgeous? Well worth a watch!

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“We’re knights if the round table, we dance whene’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impeccable…”

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What we learned: Invade someone’s land and they might be a bit pissed off.

Next time: #249 Bunny Lake is Missing (1965)