#276 Persona

Watched: August 31 2020

Director: Ingmar Bergman

Starring: Liv Ullman, Bibi Andersson

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 20min

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Actress Elisabet Vogler (Ullmann) stopped speaking after a performance of Elektra, and nurse Alma (Andersson) is tasked with looking after her and, if possible, bring her back to the world.

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“I was sure I heard the doctor say you should take care of me, not just stand around posing in the background…”

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The two women retreat to an isolated summer house for some R&R. Soon, Alma bonds strongly with her patient – to the point where she starts finding it difficult to distinguish between herself and Elisabet…

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“OMG, I can’t even tell us apart anymore! #twinsies!”

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So far, this might be our favourite Bergman, and not just because Liv Ullmann is from our city (sort of. Technically, she was born in Tokyo but our local cinema has a whole exhibition about her which is irrefutable proof that she’s officially from Trondheim). As regular readers will have gathered, we love psychological horror dramas with strong female characters and beautiful cinematography, and Persona checks all the boxes.

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If anyone’s wondering what to get us for Christmas, this entire outfit, luggage included, would not go amiss. Make a note!

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We loved the Un Chien Andalou-esque opening, the performances of both main characters, the very explanatory exposition scene at the beginning (we enjoy a good tell-don’t-show-scene), and the Swedish language (this might be considered treason, but Swedish is perhaps more beautiful than Norwegian, despite sounding a tiny bit whiny..).

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Just a second – you’ve got something on your face.

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It is quiet and violent at the same time, beautiful and repulsive, impossible to understand (although Bergman claimed it’s very straight forward and simple), and thoroughly fascinating. It is also a very probable inspiration for Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) – the two might make a good, though emotionally exhausting, double feature. Definitely recommended!

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Say cheese!

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What we learned: Ingmar, your idea of “simple and straight forward” is very different from ours…

Next time: Seconds (1966)

#275 Kill, Baby… Kill!/Operazione paura

Watched: August 20 2016

Director: Mario Bava

Starring: Giacomo Rossi Stuart, Erika Blanc, Fabienne Dali, Piero Lulli, Luciano Catenacci/Max Lawrence

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 26min

August, 2016. Two Norwegian sisters drunkenly come up with the idea to skip ahead a bit on the list they recently started. A die is cast. The fates have decided. The choice is Mario Bava’s 1966 horror Kill, Baby… Kill!

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Four years later, the same sisters dig out their notes from that fateful day, ready to write an insightful and witty blog entry based on the impeccable and detailed notes they always keep. However, what they find proves not to be decipherable by the sober mind. Thus, we present them here in their entirety, paired with pictures that may or may not refer to the notes.

“Good dress.”

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Picture this, but in tartan.

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“Dracula, carriage, inn, suspicious locals”

“Remember: suspicious death of good-dress-girl”

“Pronunciation of autopsy

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It’s an autopsy-turvy world!

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“Burgermeister [sic] + witch = plot thickens. Love us some witches.”

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Magica De Spell never seemed to get the love spells quite right

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“Yul Brynner. He dead.”

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Ok, we admit that referring to this guy as Yul Brynner might make us a bit baldist… We’re sorry…

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“Good colours”

“#Creepydoll”

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We have no idea which one we’re referring to…

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“Twin Peaks dude”

“Set in past but 60s pointy boobs”

“So much cobweb! Nothing changed for 20 years.”

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Terrors of the Carpathian Mountains. A list: 1. Dracula. 2. Mutant spiders. 3. Ghostly girls. 4. Endless rooms. 5. Evil doppelgangers.

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“Love the mad woman.”

“Cool shots. Spiral staircase.”

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Wow. That is cool! Well spotted, drunk us!

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Perhaps astute readers will make sense of our ramblings. Or the notes could be the basis for a new, fun drinking game. The possibilities are endless!

What we learned: Who knows? We enjoyed it immensely though.

Next time: Persona (1966)

#274 Gambit

Watched: August 5 2020

Director: Ronald Neame

Starring: Michael Caine, Shirley MacLaine, Herbert Lom

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 49min

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Hong Kong. Harry Dean (Caine) approaches nightclub dancer Nicole Chang (MacLaine) with an offer she cannot refuse.

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Who wouldn’t accept $5000 to stand around, say nothing and be alluring for a night? In fact, you can contact us at 1000filmsblog@gmail.com for available days…

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Harry has it all figured out. He will distract the incredibly rich Shahbandar (Lom) with Nicole’s uncanny resemblance to his dead wife. While Shahbandar focuses all his energy on Nicole, Harry will be free to case his apartment and later on steal a valuable bust. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

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…or is that Easy peasy racist squeezy?

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Naturally, everything goes according to plan, both Nicole and Shahbandar play into Harry’s schemes perfectly, none of them has any ideas or agency of their own, and it’s all smooth sailing. It’s a very short film.

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“Look, lady, I didn’t hire you to smile. Or speak. Or be human. Why can’t you just stand around all silent and mysterious and do as you’re told like the woman in my dream heist???”

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You know it’s going to be a good movie when the opening credits include “gowns designed by” and “hairstyles designed by.” At least visually. And Gambit delivers in every way.

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“Just throw in some tinsel and that old Dracula cape we found lying around. Fashion!”

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We loved the contrast between the dream heist and the reality, how much Nicole saves Harry’s ass throughout the movie (he really should have prepared better!), and everything Shirley MacLaine.

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“Now that I’ve got my hands on the prize I will stare wistfully into the distance and think deep thoughts about life, love, priorities and such.”

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This is a very fun, engaging and exciting heist comedy, with some screwball elements and wonderful actors. We were thoroughly entertained!

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Just try to ignore the unfortunate brown-face and cultural appropriation. It’s of its time.

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What we learned: People never behave the way you plan. And some people are worth more than money.

Next time: Kill Baby, Kill! (1966)

#273 Fantastic Voyage

Watched: July 27 2020

Director: Richard Fleischer

Starring: Stephen Boyd, Raquel Welch, Donald Pleasence, Edmond O’Brien, Arthur O’Connelly, William Redfield, Arthur Kennedy, Jean Del Val

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 40min

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During the cold war, an important scientist is nearly assassinated, and ends up in a coma.

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Then, to add insult to injury, someone glued a bunch of numbers and letters on his head. For shits and giggles. At least they’re all responsibly wearing masks.

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Surgery to repair the trauma to his brain proves to be too dangerous, and his knowledge is invaluable (if he still retains it), so naturally they come up with the only possible solution: shrink a crew of surgeons, captains, security people etc., and send them into the scientist’s blood stream in a submarine. With a possible traitor. And a laser.

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Why on earth didn’t they just send the surgeon in with the crew who went in to install all the lighting? Would have saved them hours.

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Inside the comatose man (sounds slightly illegal..?), Grant, Cora, the doctors and the rest of the crew encounter many obstacles. Chief among them being antibodies, arteriovenous fistula (learned a new word!), sabotage and sound. Not to mention cobwebs…

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Behold: the consequence of all the spiders you have accidentally consumed throughout your life!

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Fantastic Voyage is a fun and thrilling adventure film which has spawned many a spoof, parody and tribute. We loved the ’60s aesthetics, the disclaimer and title sequence, the lava lamp blood stream, generally everything to do with the design.

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Journey to the Centre of the Lava Lamp

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The plot was also intriguing and exciting, though we did unfortunately peg the traitor from the beginning. We were hoping for a double bluff, but alas!

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Spoiler alert: the saboteur is somewhere in this picture…

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Is it scientifically accurate? Probably not. We’re not physicians or physicists, but our basic understanding of human biology informs us that some artistic liberties may have been taken. However, it is very entertaining and just a tiny bit silly. Definitely worth a watch.

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Then, imagine these guys swimming inside of you. Among the cobwebs…

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What we learned: Humanity has NOT focused enough energy on the development of shrinking technology. Get your priorities straight, science people!

Next time: Gambit (1966)

#272 Daisies

Watched: July 15 2020

Director: Věra Chytilová

Starring: Jitka Cerhová, Ivana Karbanová

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 14min

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Two young women, Marie I and Marie II (Cerhová and Karbanová), decide that since the world is going bad, they will get down with the badness and no longer live up to the female ideal of temperance.

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This isn’t even from the film. This is just us on a regular Tuesday.

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After eating apples (Symbolism Alert!), they go on an indulgence spree, eating, drinking and generally helping themselves to everything life has to offer, consequences be damned!

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Even when the consequences include decapitation

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Daisies is hard to describe, it needs to be experienced. And you should. The protagonists are wonderful, and there is still, 50+ years later, something unusually freeing about watching two young women gorge themselves on food and drinks the way they do.

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Our rational, practical, Norwegian brains are still worried about ants in the bed though

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We absolutely loved this – it is strange and surreal, and the costumes and sets are fantastic in every way.

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Sometimes the set even bleeds into the costumes. It’s a whole thing.

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Interestingly, after initial good reviews, the film was pretty much banned in its native Czechoslovakia by the communist regime for “depicting the wanton.” However, it is now generally regarded as one of the great Czechoslovak movies of all time.

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To be fair, what could ever possibly top this?

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Excellent comedy with a message! What’s not to love?

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This will be you as you watch. Trust and believe!

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What we learned: Everyone needs nourishment. And sometimes you have to break the rules.

Next time: Fantastic Voyage (1966)

#271 Cul-De-Sac

Watched: June 29 2020

Director: Roman Polanski

Starring: Donald Pleasence, Françoise Dorléac, Lionel Stander, Jack MacGowran

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 52min

For our thoughts on Polanski in general, read this.

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Two injured gangsters, Dickie (Stander) and Albie (MacGowran), come upon a castle on a tidal island where they are stranded due to the tide. The castle’s inhabitants, George (Pleasence) and Teresa (Dorléac) are taken hostage and pulled into a powerplay with Dickie.

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“We may be in a hostage situation, but it’s important to make time for bathing and bonding in between the threats of violence.”

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We were very excited about the concept of this, and it was definitely beautifully shot. We loved parts of it and other parts were a bit meh. For instance, we loved the opening credits, George’s bad paintings (they were supposed to be bad, right..?), the horrible Horace who came to visit, that one clearly fake seagull, Donald Pleasence, and the setting.

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“I sure hope no hardened criminals decide to invade us while we’re playing dress up. Like my wife, they will never take me seriously as a man.”

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However, we didn’t quite get the humour in this comedy… Which probably says more about us than the film itself, but there it is. The dinner party and the grave digging were fun scenes, and Pleasence was a joy to watch, but otherwise we weren’t that into it.

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Alas, poor Albie. We didn’t know him well.

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We also found Teresa a bit confusing as a character. First off, what woman who’s a victim of a home invasion will proceed to sleep naked when the (male) invaders are still in the house? In addition, we’re very much over women in movies/books/etc. who cry rape the minute a prank or seduction goes wrong. Considering the director as well, it left a bad taste.

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Pictured: perfectly normal behaviour for a woman captured in a bad marriage and an ACTUAL HOSTAGE SITUATION! Not gratuitous at all.

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It’s a great concept and beautifully shot in black and white. There are also good performances by all the principal players. But we don’t think this one will stay with us the way many other movies have done. To us, it became a bit forgettable. Perhaps we’re just too biased against Polanski to really enjoy his work..?

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It’s pretty to look at though. So we guess that’s something.

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What we learned: Dames! Also, if you want to come visit, have the courtesy to telephone in advance. Especially if you’re bringing your brat…

Next time: Daisies (1966)

#270 Blow-Up

Watched: June 13 2020

Director: Michelangelo Antonioni

Starring: Vanessa Redgrave, David Hemmings, Sarah Miles, John Castle, Verushka, Jane Birkin, Peter Bowles, Gillian Hills

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 51min

Disclaimer: You may experience some unscheduled breaks between blog posts. This is perfectly normal and nothing to panic about. The delays may be due to the fact that Trondheim is finally sunny and thus blogging sisters must spend as much time as possible outdoors before the temperature drops again (and it will). Other delays may happen because of Sister the Youngest’s fancy new job which she started this month. Please be patient, and we’ll be back to normal in no time at all. Or in a while. Who knows?

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Thomas (Hemmings) is a self-centred asshole fashion photographer in swinging London. He is also, as spoiled, rich people often are in movies, bored and disillusioned.

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“Do I objectify women? Of course not! I open my shirt while I’m working and have them squirm half naked underneath me because it’s the professional thing to do.”

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After stalking a couple in a park and ignoring the woman’s request that he stops taking her picture, he is surprised to find the same woman (Redgrave) at his studio. She has come to ask for her pictures back, even going so far as to offer sexual favours for their return.

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“I might consider giving you the film if you get half naked and squirm a bit…”

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He eventually gives her a film roll, but not the one she’s after. Instead, when she leaves he develops the pictures. But what he finds is unexpected: did he acidentally capture a murder on film?

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“Oh no! A white blob! Must be murder.”

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Our favourite scene in Blow-Up was the titular one: where Thomas develops the photos and gradually blows up parts of the images to reveal what was hidden in the background. It’s very well done and exciting to watch.

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Pictured: our second favourite scene and coincidentally our new summer wardrobe.

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We also enjoyed the mystery of what really happened in the park and who the woman was. However, if you’re looking for a mystery which neatly wraps up in the end, stay away! You will find no resolution here.

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Although, according to some sources, you will find the pubic hair of one of these lovely ladies. So if that’s your fetish, enjoy!

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What you will find are such things as excellent mod fashion, great (occasionally stressful) music, gratuitous nudity, an asshole protagonist (who is also a clear inspiration for Austin Powers, but without the charm), beautiful photography, a very Norwegian rock concert audience (no one moves!), an amazing old antiques-dealer who reminded us a bit of Rebecca Femm (“Can’t have landscapes!”), and existential crises.

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Oh, and there are mimes. But don’t let that put you off. It’s actually very tastefully done.

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Overall, we enjoyed this movie. We HATED the protagonist, and the fact that no one seems to have a name (except Ron) made it confusing to take notes as we were watching (yes, we take notes. We are that nerdy…), but it is beautiful to look at and intriguing to watch.

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Life lesson: don’t be like creepy Thomas. Don’t take photos of strangers and then refuse to stop when they ask you to. Have we mentioned that Thomas sucks? ‘Cause he does!

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What we learned: If you find a dead body, try calling the police BEFORE you go partying.

Next time: Cul-De-Sac (1966)

#269 Batman

Watched: May 27 2020

Director: Leslie H. Martinson

Starring: Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, Alan Napier, Neil Hamilton, Stafford Repp

Year: 1966

Runtime: 1h 45min

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Today we bring you the peak of cinematic history: 1966’s Batman. It’s the perfect movie and we defy you to find anything better. Bruce Wayne (West) and his youthful ward Dick Grayson (Ward) live double lives as caped crusaders Batman and Robin in Gotham city. But their daily crime fighting routine is disrupted when their main enemies band together to kidnap the United World’s Security Council by dehydrating them.

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Holy Convoluted Plot, Batman!

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The Joker (Romero), Catwoman (Meriwether), The Riddler (Gorshin) and The Penguin (Meredith) have kidnapped an inventor and stolen his dehydrator. With it, they can reduce people to a fine powder and then bring them back by adding water. Science!

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Holy Evil Science School, Batman!

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However, The Caped Crusader and The Boy Wonder will not let them get away with their nefarious plans! They will POW! BLURP! THWACK! BIFF! and SPLA-AT! the council members to freedom and the villains to their doom.

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Holy KAPOW! Batman!

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You have probably gathered how we feel about this movie from the opening line. It’s been a favourite ever since we used to watch the TV-show as kids, and it has aged oh so well. It may not be the most sophisticated piece of cinematic history, but it’s silly, campy fun which works for all ages.

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Holy Sardine, Batman!

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What’s not to love? The opening credits, the narrator, the bat gadgets (batgets..?), the quintessential Batmusic, the riddle solving and jumping to conclusions, the insane dedication to putting batwings on stuff, and the superhero physique we can all aspire to and actually achieve (I think we can all agree that this is more within our reach than becoming Chris Hemsworth) – they’re all brilliant and very cartoony.

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Holy Marathon, Batman!

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Our favourites are the Shark Repellent Bat Spray and Robin’s endless supply of holiness. But the cheap costumes and the fact that Romero couldn’t even be bothered to shave off his mustache for the role are also part of what makes this movie special. If you haven’t seen it yet, do yourself a favour asap.

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Holy Complete Television Show, Batman!

What we learned: Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.

Next time: Blow-Up (1966)

Out of Movies!

Geetings, gentle reader. We’re currently experiencing another consequence of Covid-19: we’re out of movies!

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We’ve got literally nothing to watch!

Ok, not quite out, but the next 5 or so movies on the list are either being held hostage in the closed library and/or on their way here but delayed due to the overworked postal system. You see, once most of the world went into lockdown, we got a message from our Patron Saint and all around good guy Edgar Wright himself offering to send us whichever movies we were missing and/or unable to get our hand on. And he’s been true to his word and ordered us a bunch of stuff! Because he is amazing. However, due to the aforementioned lockdown, things are slow to ship and we’re now unfortunately out of stuff.

We have made the executive decision to give it another week, and if we still can’t get to the library, or if the films haven’t arrived, we’ll just skip ahead a few places and then go back and add in the others as we get them.

Hope you are all safe and healthy. We’ll be back next weekend with either Batman, Blow-Up or Fantastic Voyage – the fates (and the library/postal service) will decide!

Bonus: Dr Terror’s House of Horrors

Watched: April 25 2020

Director: Freddie Francis

Starring: Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Neil McCallum, Alan Freeman, Bernard Lee, Roy Castle, Michael Gough, Donald Sutherland, Max Adrian, Ursula Howells

Year: 1965

Runtime: 1h 38min

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Six people from different walks of life (and by that we mean 6 middle class white men) meet in a train carriage. One of them, the aptly named Dr Schreck, is a tarot card practitioner and volunteers to read all their fortunes. This goes about as well as you’d expect in a horror film, and all five passengers learn of the terrible fates about to befall them. Should they live long enough to experience it, that is…

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“Let’s play Five Original Ways to Die!”

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Could it be werewolves?

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Or perhaps killer plants?

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How about some voodoo? Always a fun and original way to go!

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Or perhaps you’re looking for something more along the lines of a disembodied hand looking for revenge?

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I know! Let a future Watcher take you on a vampire hunt. Nothing says classic horror like bloodthirsty fiends lurking in the night sucking the life force from the young and vital.

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This horror anthology is clearly inspired by Dead of Night, and while it doesn’t quite live up to its predecessor, it is very fun and entertaining. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing are wonderful as always, and Donald Sutherland looks very much like his son (who Sister the Oldest may or may not have had a huge crush on in the early nineties… Think Lost Boys/Young Guns era).

The Lost Boys (1987)Directed by Joel Schumacher Shown: Kiefer Sutherland
Sure, the look might be somewhat dated now, but it certainly worked in 1987! (And in 1992 which was probably around the time the movie [and the style] reached Norway.)

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An excellent little place holder while we wait for access to the rest of the list!

What we learned: Dr Terror sure had an impressively detailed and specific deck of tarot cards!

Next time: Batman (1966)