#51 Pinocchio

Watched: October 02 2016

Directors: Norman Ferguson, T. Hee, Wilfred Jackson, Jack Kinney, Hamilton Luske, Bill Roberts, Ben Sharpsteen

Starring: Dickie Jones, Cliff Edwards, Christian Rub, Mel Blanc, and various other creatures

Year: 1940

Runtime: 1h 28min

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Geppetto is a lonely toy maker/inventor who lives with his cat and fish somewhere in Italy (we presume). After finishing a wooden marionette, he wishes upon a star that Pinocchio (the dummy) would be a real boy. Somehow, this does not come across as creepy. Well done, Disney! Lo and behold – in the night a blue fairy visits and brings Pinocchio to life, promising him he’ll be a real boy if he proves himself to be brave, truthful, and unselfish. Jiminy Cricket, a cricket(!), is assigned to be the newborn boy’s conscience and is tasked with keeping him out of trouble.

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The first thing he does is light himself on fire. So much for staying out of trouble.

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Geppetto is delighted to wake up and find his new “son,” but like many parents before him, he is equally delighted to send the kid off to school the next day so as to have a few hours of peace. Despite the fact that he was literally born yesterday. We feel you, Geppetto!

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“Give this apple to your teacher, and oh – take these school books I have lying around for no discernible reason…”

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Of course, Pinocchio, being both a dummy and born yesterday, gets into trouble right away. He is lured away from his path by a couple of scammers who promise him a career in show biz.

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He’s also promised ladies

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Lots and lots of ladies

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Of course, the glamorous life in show business isn’t at all that it’s cracked up to be. Pinocchio is kidnapped and the blue fairy has to show up and help him out one last time. One would then presume the marionette had learned his lesson, but he is a young simpleton and promptly gets himself into even more trouble.

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“Seriously, pull yourself together or I’m gonna find myself a new job!”

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Pinocchio is once more kidnapped (sort of) with a bunch of other young boys who are skipping school and are generally up to no good. They are brought to “Pleasure Island” from where boys never return… At least not as boys. We won’t even begin to comment on the connotations here… Meanwhile, poor Geppetto, the world’s most irresponsible parent, is wondering what on earth has happened to his son.

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Luckily for the boys, they’re only turned into jackasses and don’t become victim of some horrible child prostitution ring. Just slave labour. It’s a Disney film after all.

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We’re prepared to bet most of you have seen this Disney classic and learned your lessons from it. Thus you are all responsible, honest and caring people. Well done!

We really liked Pinocchio, particularly Jiminy Cricket and Figaro the cat. The clock scene in Geppetto’s work shop in the beginning is magical, and despite the fact that he sends his newborn son alone to school on day two, we like Geppetto as well. Pinocchio is slightly annoying, but being a puppet we can (mostly) forgive him. Growing up, “There Are No Strings on Me” was on TV every Christmas but we realised watching this that we’ve never really seen the entire film! So it was about time.

What we learned: a conscience is that small voice people just won’t listen to. But clearly should. Also, you shouldn’t send your kid to school when he’s only a day old, no matter what!

Next time: The Bank Dick (1940)

#50 His Girl Friday

Watched: October 28 2016

Director: Howard Hawks

Starring: Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell, Ralph Bellamy

Year: 1940

Runtime: 1h 32min

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Pop the champagne, people! We have reached #50! *sounds of corks popping and (two) people cheering* And what a way to celebrate – with our favourite comedy on the list so far, Howard Hawks’ His Girl Friday.

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Featuring two familiar guys and a girl who can give them a run for their money any day!

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Newspaper editor Walter Burns (Grant) learns that his ex-wife Hildy Johnson (Russell) is getting remarried and he’ll have none of it! Not necessarily out of jealousy (although that plays a part in it), but because bad-ass newswoman Hildy is planning on marrying boring insurance salesman Bruce Baldwin (Bellamy) and retiring from being awesome. So he does the only reasonable thing he can think of: he ropes Hildy into doing one last story for him while continuously getting Baldwin arrested for various offences.

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“Seriously, where on earth did you get that hat, and can you get me one too?”

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Despite Hildy’s insistence that she is done with the news business and is looking forward to a quiet existence with Bruce and his mother, she is clearly in her element tackling other newsmen, law officials and a convicted murderer.

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Including her at one point physically tackling a guy, but we can’t find any pictures of that, so here’s one of her just being generally awesome instead.

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The dialogue is incredibly fast and funny with lots of overlapping lines (which probably has a technical film term with which we are unacquainted). Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell have wonderful chemistry and despite new boyfriend Bruce not being a bad guy at all (in fact, he’s rather sweet) we are rooting for them from their first scene together.

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Poor Bruce is so clearly out of his league with these two

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When you take the dialogue, the chemistry of the two stars, the funny and occasionally farcical plot and add one of the best female characters we’ve seen so far, you get movie brilliance. Despite being over 75 years old, His Girl Friday never seems dated and it will continue to stand the test of time.

What we learned: we’ll take a kick-ass career over safety and starting a family any day. Also, characters played by Ralph Bellamy tend to look like Ralph Bellamy.

Next time: Pinocchio (1940)

#49 Fantasia

Watched: October 19 2016

Directors: James Algar, Samuel Armstrong, Ford Beebe Jr., Norman Ferguson, Jim Handley, T. Hee, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske, Bill Roberts, Paul Satterfield, Ben Sharpsteen

Starring: Leopold Stokowski, Deems Taylor, Mickey Mouse, various creatures and instruments.

Year: 1940

Runtime: 2h 5min

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We cannot do this film justice in a text post, so we recommend you watch it (if you haven’t already). It’s a Disney classic (and the first Disney animated feature on the list) for very good reasons – it’s a love letter to the magic of music and an (a?) homage to human creativity and artistry.

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For those of you whose tastes run darker than Disney, it also features this guy

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Various animators and directors have visualized works of classical music by Bach, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Stravinsky, Ponchielli, Mussorgsky and Schubert (hopefully we didn’t forget anyone… Either way, they’re dead so no harm done!) in various styles and the results are mesmerizing, beautiful, therapeutic, educational, and at times funny, sad or scary.

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The clumsy elegance of the ostrich and hippo ballerinas ticks the boxes for both beautiful and funny

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The different segments are introduced by Deems Taylor and the music is performed by the Philadelphia Orchestra and conducted by Leopold Stokowsky (our classical musician friends have informed us that it is vitally important to credit the conductor). Some of the sequences tell a story while others are more abstract interpretations of the music, but they are all lovely and entertaining to watch.

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A wonderful collaboration indeed!

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This is the sort of film one can rewatch endlessly and it should be required viewing for all children (and adults).

What we learned: hippos are awesome dancers. Also, church bells will scare off any unearthly creature.

Next time: His Girl Friday (1940)

#48 The Wizard of Oz

Watched: October 02 2016

Director: Victor Fleming, Mervyn LeRoy, King Vidor, George Cukor, Norman Taurog (clearly, it takes a village…)

Starring: Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger, Bert Lahr, Jack Haley, Margaret Hamilton, Billie Burke, the Munchkins

Year: 1939

Runtime: 1h 42min

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Really? Do you really need a recap of this? OK, fine, let’s sum it up.

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Girl kills woman and takes her shoes as trophy (in her defense, they’re very pretty)

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Girl goes on adventure/quest with new friends

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Girl is chased by mutant minions of sister of first murder victim. She goes on to also kill the sister.

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Her enemies now slain, the pink, poofy witch finally lets girl go home to her own family

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We love it!

What we learned: there’s no place like home. Also, we do NOT trust that smug bitch Glinda.

Next time: Fantasia (1940)

#47 The Roaring Twenties

Watched: October 17 2016

Director: Raoul Walsh

Starring: James Cagney, Humphrey Bogart, Priscilla Lane, Gladys George, Jeffrey Lynn, Frank McHugh

Year: 1939

Runtime: 1h 46min

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It’s World War One and two guys are doing their best to smoke a cigarette in a shell hole during the fighting. A third guy joins them and they gradually strike up a friendship despite being from very different walks of life; Eddie Bartlett (Cagney) is a mechanic, George Hally (Bogart) is the son of a bar owner, and Lloyd Hart (Lynn) is a lawyer.

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Sharing a smoke and a shell hole in WWI = best friends forever!

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Upon returning home after the war, the three go their seperate ways and we follow Bartlett as he goes back to his old friend and his old job only to find that the world has moved on and there’s no work for him. To make matters even worse, Eddie decides to look up his old penpal from the war, Jean (the ridiculously gorgeous Priscilla Lane), and discovers she’s a school kid. To his credit, he walks away.

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“I’ll just look you up in three years, dollface!”

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He moves in with his friend Danny Green (McHugh) and they take turns driving Danny’s taxi to make a living. After Eddie is arrested for unwittingly smuggling rum into a bar, he realises that there’s money in illegal alcohol and he starts producing and delivering his own, with the help of Danny, the fabulous Panama Smith (George) and his old lawyer friend from the war. He makes it big, runs into (the now legal) Jean again and starts to pursue her, with varied success. She tries, but fails, to fall in love with Eddie.

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“I appreciate the job and the pressies, but I think I’m just gonna fuck your friend instead. #friendzone!”

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George Hally comes back into their lives and the business keeps growing. However, Hally’s ruthlessness and tendency towards violence push Lloyd away and drive Eddie to become more violent himself. When prohibition ends, Eddie has lost it all – his business, his girl, his best friends and his sobriety. Panama stands by him, but he becomes a drunk and reverts to taxi driving again.

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While Hally keeps up his violent criminal career with considerable more success.

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Eddie is short tempered, proud and impulsive, but he’s not a really bad guy, more a victim of circumstance and his own ambition. Hally is more the psychopath – the one who delights in violence and excessive force. Panama and Danny are easily the most likable characters, and in many ways the most innocent victims of Eddie and Hally.

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She’s also the most fabulous character. You can’t go wrong with polka dots and feathers!

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We loved the voice-over and the documentary feel of The Roaring Twenties. The plot and the characters are intriguing and the film was strangely educational, like a very engaging history lesson. Our love for James Cagney is still going strong – whether he’s playing a gangster or he’s dancing and singing, he is mesmerizing.

What we learned: don’t drink and drive, kids! Also, we learned a lot of stuff about the USA between 1920 and 1939. Thank you, voice-over dude!

Next time: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

#46 The Lady Vanishes

Watched: September 17 2016

Director: Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: Margaret Lockwood, Michael Redgrave, Dame May Whitty, Paul Lukas

Year: 1938

Runtime: 1h 36min

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In a remote European town, a train is delayed due to an avalanche. A random assortment of tourists are forced to spend the night in a hotel and interact with each other. We meet a gang of young women, one of whom is on her way home to England to get married; some cricket obsessed Brits, a judge and his mistress, an arrogant musician and an old retired governess.

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The nun comes later.

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After the (undiscovered) murder of a busker in the night, the tourists are sent on their merry way the next day. Iris Henderson (Lockwood), the lady about to be married, shares a compartment with Miss Froy (Whitty), the retired governess, and they spend the first part of the train ride in each other’s company. However, after a nap (brought on by a mild concussion from a mysterious accident at the train station), Iris wakes up to the old lady having vanished. In addition, everyone in her compartment denies her ever having been there, saying she must be a figment of Iris’ imagination (or brain injury). Cue mystery!

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“An old lady? We’ve never seen anything of the sort. And why would we lie? We’re not at all sinister foreign types in a xenophobic Europe!”

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Iris teams up with Gilbert (Redgrave), the annoying musician she had a less than pleasant run-in with the previous night and together they start investigating the missing lady, with the occasional help from fellow passenger Dr. Hartz (Lukas). Naturally, things are more complex than they seem at first, and the plot, as they say, thickens.

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“So, let me get this straight: the old lady vanishes, then she reappears but it’s not the same lady, then there’s a severe Italian lady who lies about it, then a judge and his mistress who also lie, as do a couple of Brits because of a cricket match and then there’s a creepy nun..?” “Yes. And there’s also an escape artist. But he escapes.” “I see… Makes prefect sense!”

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This is a good old-fashioned mystery film with intrigue, espionage and international politics (which was important in 1938 as you can imagine). There’s also romance, humour and a wonderful cast of characters, and there’s an action packed shootout towards the end (always fun!). Hitchcock films are always interesting to watch, both due to the contents as well as beautiful and inventive shots. We love and cherish it!

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Also, the lady is adorable!

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What we learned: There’s always a conspiracy.

Next time: The Roaring Twenties (1939)

#45 The Adventures of Robin Hood

Watched: September 30 2016

Directors: Michael Curtiz, William Keighley

Starring: Errol Flynn, Olivia de Havilland, Claude Rains, Basil Rathbone, and Una Freaking O’Connor!

Year: 1938

Runtime: 1h 42min

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Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you: our first feature film in glorious technicolor! And what a film! Swashbuckling heroes, forbidden romance, great fight scenes and men in tights! What more can two ladies ask for on a Friday night?

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Perhaps a cheeky bastard defying authority while carrying a big piece of meat..?

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The evil Prince John (Rains) and his sidekick Sir Guy of Gisbourne (Rathbone) start a reign of terror against the Saxons in the absence of John’s brother, King Richard the Lion Heart, who’s in captivity after fighting in the crusades. However, one Saxon nobleman will not be subdued – Robin of Locksley, a.k.a. Robin Hood (Flynn), the sassy leader of a band of merry men who make it their mission to protect the people and defy the rule of the Norman upper classes.

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“We’ll start sharing our loot with the oppressed once we’ve paid off these matching outfits. We should have considered the price of green dye before deciding on this colour scheme…”

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Robin, Little John, Will Scarlett, Friar Tuck and the other famous and beloved characters from the Robin Hood legends not only rob from the rich and give to the poor, they also assassinate all who threaten, torture and/or kill Saxons. Which John did in abundance.

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His mistake was going full oppressor. You never go full oppressor.

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This was one of the best Friday nights we’ve had in a while (sad, we know..). The colours are really vibrant (particularly after so many weeks of black and white films) and the characters are fun and cheeky – especially Flynn’s Robin. There’s bravery, political activist women (though turned that way by love for a man), the glorious Una O’Connor (imagine our happiness when we spotted her!), wonderful fight sequences (some in shadow), humour, romance, suspense and a great score.

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We must admit to a weakness for men who shoot arrows while on horseback. But only in historical clothing.

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Another interesting detail is that for macho men, the outlaws are very happy to be shown up by others. We think a lot of people can learn something from them about lightening up and not taking themselves so seriously…

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Like these guys.

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What we learned: unlike other Robin Hoods, he can speak with an English accent. (Okay, we’re Norwegian and not particularly good at distinguishing accents in English, and we know that Flynn was Australian so this may be a blatant lie, but dammit! Men in Tights [1993] is NOT on the list, and this may be our only chance to quote the great Cary Elwes in this blog, so we’re bloody well going to go for it!)

Next time: The Lady Vanishes (1938)

#44 Bringing Up Baby

Watched: September 17 2016

Director: Howard Hawks

Starring: Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant

Year: 1938

Runtime: 1h 42min

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Screwball comedies are always fun, and Bringing Up Baby is no exception. This was another rewatch which we enjoyed as much as the first time around (despite our dislike of having wild animals as pets).

Paleontologist David Huxley (Grant) is trying to assemble a Brontosaurus skeleton and also secure a 1 million dollar donation to his museum. Meanwhile, his path keeps crossing that of heiress Susan Vance (Hepburn) who, after several chance encounters, falls madly in love with him and comes up with increasingly complicated excuses to keep him near.

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You can see why she likes him. It takes a man secure in his masculinity to pull off this look.

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Susan, believing David is a zoologist, talks (read: cons and guilts) him into helping her transport her leopard, Baby, to Connecticut, and the scenes with them singing “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love” to soothe the (relatively small) cat are among the funniest in the film.

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“Are you sure this is going to work? Because right now she looks at me like I’m lunch…”

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There are mix ups, wardrobe malfunctions, romance, snappy dialogue and everything else you’d want in a farcical screwball comedy. Grant and Hepburn are adorable – their performances and chemistry really make the film, and Hepburn is amazingly good at balancing being annoying with being wonderfully charming. In the end, Susan saves David from a entering into a disastrous marriage, and he finally has all the bones he needs to finish his Brontosaurus. All in all, a happy ending, and we had a blast with this one.

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“Well, fellas, I’m not gonna brag, but despite the connotations of this pose, I will fight the temptation to make a dick joke. You’re welcome.”

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What we learned: when a man is wrestling a leopard in a pond he is in no position to run anywhere. Also, there’s an abundance of leopards in Connecticut in spring.

Next time: The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

#42 The Awful Truth

Watched: September 18 2016

Director: Leo McCarey

Starring: Irene Dunne, Cary Grant, Ralph Bellamy, Cecil Cunningham

Year: 1937

Runtime: 1h 31min

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After jealous misunderstandings and unexplained absences, Lucy and Jerry Warriner (Dunne and Grant, respectively) decide to get a divorce.

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“Meet Lucy and Jerry Warriner. Toast of the upper crust, headliners on the society pages… And oh yes, they’re getting divorced!”

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While waiting for their divorce to be finalized, Lucy moves in with her glorious aunt Patsy (Cunningham) and strikes up a romance with oil-rich idiot Daniel Leeson (Bellamy) who lives next door with his mother. Meanwhile, after a short affair with a showgirl, Jerry strikes up a relationship with socialite Barbara Vance, much to Lucy’s dismay.

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“You know as well as I do she won’t make you nearly as happily unhappy as me.”

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Through their shared custody of their dog, the soon-to-be divorcees are forced to meet each other on a regular basis, and they take every opportunity to try to sabotage each other’s affairs, with hilarious consequences. In addition, Aunt Patsy is always at hand with wonderfully snarky remarks.

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Aunt Patsy embodies snarkiness and delightful dance moves – all the things we aspire to possess!

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This was a new one for us, and a new favourite at that. Irene Dunne and Cary Grant were both great (they remind us strangely of Frank and Sadie Doyle, though without the supernatural complications), but our new role model is easily Cecil Cunningham’s Aunt Patsy. That girl was life! The Awful Truth is funny, charming, and has plenty of gorgeous outfits, and we loved it completely.

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What we learned: actually, what we didn’t learn was what the hell Jerry was really doing when he was supposedly in Florida??? Also, Aunt Patsy taught us the definition and consequences of rebound guys.

Next time: Angels with Dirty Faces (1938)

#41 Modern Times

Watched: September 17 2016

Director:  Charles Chaplin

Starring: Charlie Chaplin, Paulette Goddard

Year: 1936

Runtime: 1h 27min

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Modern Times is Charlie Chaplin’s comment on the Great Depression and the struggles of modern society, and he is clear in his condemnation of the eradication of humanity within the capitalist ideals of modern industrialisation.

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Political, yet adorable

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The Tramp has got a job working in a factory straight out of Metropolis, and spends his time turning screws on an assembly line to maximise efficiency. After his boss tries out a new “feeding machine” on him (to reduce break time and thereby increase production), he finally snaps and has a mental breakdown.

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We’re not entirely clear on how this would increase efficiency, but it’s a great scene.

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To his credit, Chaplin has the most adorable mental breakdowns. A lot of dancing is involved

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After being advised to “take it easy and avoid excitement,” he inadvertently leads a worker demonstration and is arrested. In prison, he gets high on cocaine (again, without really realising it) and stops a mass breakout, earning him a position as the jailers’ pet.

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The prize for helping terminate a prison break: tea with this charming lady!

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He gets out of jail against his will (in prison, he is given food and clothes, which is quite a high quality of life during the depression) and immediately starts trying to find ways in which to get back in. He finds his opportunity when a young girl is caught stealing a loaf of bread, and he takes the fall for her.

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Cue depression era romance/father-daughter relationship/friendship or similar

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The girl (Goddard) and the Tramp spend the remainder of the film trying to make a life for themselves, working as singing and dancing waiters in a café while doing their best to keep her out of the claws of something equivalent to Child Protective Services (which is where her siblings went after their father died). There are many complications, and some wonderful scenes (including an amazing skating bit in a shopping centre) but the two of them manage to be quite happy together even though their lives are unstable at best.

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They find that life is still worthwhile if they just smile

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Modern Times is a beautiful and melancholy film which we really enjoyed. We loved the girl and her feisty and proactive personality, and the Tramp, though a hazard and fairly egocentric, was charming and funny. It was also interesting to go back to silent films after so many talkies, where everything spoken was recorded, broadcast through a machine or sung. One of our favourite Chaplin films for sure!

What we learned: once younger siblings are removed from your life, you never spare them another thought.

Next time: The Awful Truth (1937)