As regular readers probably know, we lost our dog a few weeks ago. Our Patron Saint Edgar Wright himself read this and contacted us expressing his condolences, which we greatly appreciated. However, he didn’t stop there. He decided to buy us our entire Amazon wishlist (at least everything which would ship to Norway)! And so, these have been trickling into our mailbox over the past couple of weeks:
Fourteen new movies!!! Honestly, we are so thankful for this amazing present, and we definitely picked the right director to worship. Thank you so much again, Edgar! You rock!
In a small British town, all the residents (and animals) simultaneously pass out one day. They wake up a few hours later, unharmed, but later find that all the fertile women in the village are pregnant. Which obviously leads to some uncomfortable questions and suspicions.
Questions such as who was the sexy alien adonis who managed to impregnante a dozen women within the space of an hour? And what sort of pills was he on to keep it up?
The children are born 5 months later (which hospital show-fans everywhere know is waaay too early), and they all have white blond hair and intense eyes. Among the new parents are Anthea (Shelley) and Gordon Zellaby (Sanders). The latter is a professor who enjoys a good relationship with British Intelligence, and he takes on the task of observing and possibly educating the strange children.
As you can tell from his body language, he florishes in his new role as teacher and mentor for a bunch of creepy kids.
The children develop quickly, and are supersmart and polite, which in itself is a warning sign for anyone who’s ever encountered an actual child. In addition, they seem to have a hive mind and powers of telepathy. If anyone from the village poses any sort of threat to them, they soon become suicidal and the threat is eliminated. But what is their purpose? And will humanity survive their coming?
Village of the Damned is such a classic horror movie we will just go ahead and assume that everyone has seen it. We love the final scene in which the kids tear apart Gordon’s mental wall, the chilling, creepy children themselves, and the unsettling atmosphere. The kids, and especially David Zellaby (Stephens), are calm, rational and emotionless, and very disquieting. Their reactions to any threat are relentless and brutal which works great coming from adorable little kids.
With Halloween coming up, you could do a lot worse – and it’s short enough to fit neatly into any sort of marathon you may be planning. Also, perfect low budget costume idea for those of you with children of your own! Just prepare yourself to be terrified of them.
What we learned: We’re definitely never having children. Never.
Ingeri (Lindblom) is an unwed pregnant servant for a prosperous Swedish family. Angry at her circumstance and jealous of spoiled rich girl Karin (Pettersson), she prays to Odin for justice while the rest of the household are Christian.
The two young women are sent to church to deliver candles for mass, but Ingeri is spooked by the forest (and an appearance by Odin himself, probably) and Karin goes off on her own. She runs into a trio of goat herds who she invites to share her meal but being pampered and naïve, she does not sense the danger they pose until it’s too late.
Clearly, she’s never met anyone not interested in her well-being before. They’re not even trying to be non-creepy!
With Ingeri watching from the trees, two of the three men rape and then kill Karin, steal her clothes and valuables, and then leave her half naked body in the woods to rot. Later that night, the brothers seek shelter with Karin’s parents Märeta (Valberg) and Töre (von Sydow). The now worried parents only discover the brutal truth when their guests try to sell Märeta Karin’s distinctive and expensive dress, spotted with blood. They start preparing their revenge…
Daddy forgets all about his Christian values when faced with his daughter’s brutal murder. Luckily for him, he keeps a pagan/satanic knife handy for just these kinds of situations.
The Virgin Spring is like a dark and brutal fairytale – Karin is the innocent princess and Ingeri the dark witch (although she does seek redemption in the end). The three headed troll popular in Scandinavian folklore is also present, and there’s friction between the old faiths and beliefs and the relatively new Christian faith (which technically raped its way through Scandinavia, so the roles are slightly reversed) which we also often see in traditional fairytales.
It’s almost as if thy’re going for some sort of contrast or something. We’re not sure.
The rape scene is extremely uncomfortable to watch, even by today’s standards (as, indeed, all rape scenes should be) and the tension throughout the movie is palpable. For us Norwegians though, the appearance of Allan Edwall as a beggar residing with the prosperous farmers is a welcome distraction from the horror. Anyone who grew up in the Nordic countries in the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s are familiar with him from his roles in several films based on Astrid Lindgren.
The man never fails to remind us of happier, more innocent times. Although, of course, there was no way Bergman would have foreseen that. (Sorry for picture quality. There’s a distinct lack of Edwall-stills from this movie online.)
This is a fantastic, tense and uncomfortable movie about jealousy, hatred, revenge and redemption, and we truly recommend it. Even if you have no relationship with Allan Edwall.
What we learned: Hell hath no fury like a parent bereft. Also, try not to summon the old gods if you’re not 100% sure you can handle it. Just a little tip for you.
Once again we’ve gone through 50 films, so it’s time for a recap of old and new favourites. There may be a lot to go through this time, so we recommend you wrap up warm, bring a drink and a snack and make yourself comfortable before you delve into our old posts. Happy reading!
Hooray! We’ve reached number 200 on the list! 20% done! 200+ blog entries! And many, many hours spent in front of the TV! Tonight, we shall toast with bubbles and celebrate, but not before bringing you another very short film review of a very short film.
Skål!
The Running, Jumping and Standing Still Film is a series of strange and absurd slapstick comedy skits shot in the English country side. The title is almost longer than the film itself, and there’s very little we can say about it other than that it was amusing and reminded us a bit of Monty Python, so we would not be surprised if this was an inspiration for the comedy group. Which, if we’d bother looking it up, we’re sure we’d find was true.
It’s hard to pinpoint a favourite gag, but this one is up there
You can watch the whole thing here, and we recommend that you do so.
What we learned: Not a whole lot, really. Perhaps that once you shoot something, you own it..? Or don’t go towards someone beckoning you if they’re wearing boxing gloves..?
Seymour Krelborn (Haze) is a simple employee at Mushnick’s (Welles) failing floral shop on Skid Row, along with his crush Audrey Fulquard (Joseph). Their few customers are mainly limited to the unluckiest woman in the universe, Mrs Shiva (Wendorff), whose relatives keep dropping dead on a daily basis, and flower eating Fouch (Miller).
Mushnick suffering his third mental breakdown of the day. They opened ten minutes ago…
When Seymour is threatened with unemployment after screwing up yet another order, he reveals to his boss that he has been cultivating a new plant which he has named “Audrey Jr” and is told he can keep his job if he manages to popularize the plant and grow more of them.
“She’s a fascinating creature, not at all bloodthirsty and creepy!”
However, Audrey Jr is dying and Seymour struggles to find a food source for it. That is, until he cuts himself and the plant greedily drinks his blood… Having found sustenance for his creation, Seymour turns the shop and his unusual plant into superstars. But Audrey Jr craves more. And Seymour must provide…
“What? No! It eats shoes. Shoes. Not dead bodies – no siree!”
The 1960 original Little Shop of Horrors may not be as well known as the musical remake from 1986, but oh my did we love it! The characters, the plot, the script and the humour are all hilarious and we laughed so much that we were in pain at the end.
Also, Jack Nicholson has a fantastically creepy and funny, though somewhat hyped up, small part as a masochist seeking dental care
Roger Corman seems to love him some murderous simpletons who profit from their kills, as the main character shares some clear similarities with Walter Paisley (also Miller) in A Bucket of Blood. However, while Walter becomes a douchebag with his newfound success, Seymour seems to be more aware that what he is doing is wrong, and many of Audrey Jr’s meals are products of accidents rather than cold blooded murder.
We loved the investigators (especially the one who lost his kid), Mrs Shiva and her accident prone family, Fouch and his handy salt/pepper shaker, the flower floozies and generally everything about this. It’s in many ways a funnier version of A Bucket of Blood, and we cannot recommend it enough. And while we love the musical version, this one is somehow more charming and has become our favourite of the two. Go watch it!
A man climbs casually out of a manhole in his finest attire, gets into a car and drives off. When he comes home, he sends out seven packages containing the book The Golden Fleece, half of £50 (literally half, in ripped up bills), and instructions to an assortment of characters. So begins The League of Gentlemen.
It’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship. After an awkward dinner party.
The ring leader, Norman Hyde (Hawkins), is ex-army and feels the world owes him something. The men he contacted are all former army officers as well, and they all have secrets or difficulties which make them fairly easy to persuade into joining Hyde for a bank robbery.
Actually, they just pretend it’s the money they want. They were all on board the minute they saw these bitchin’ gas masks.
Utilising all their combined skills, the officers-cum-robbers plan an elaborate heist with a possible outcome of £100,000 per participant. It’s enough incentive to sway them all, and the plan is put into motion.
The plan includes, but is not limited to, peeling a whole bunch of potatoes
How did we love The League of Gentlemen? Let us count the ways. The dialogue, the dishwashing scene, the naughty vicar, the prep, the military infiltration, the heist itself, the heroic music, the gas masks, and the complete and utter cheek of the whole thing were all amazing, and had us laughing throughout.
Combine that with the very real and palpable tension during the heist and you got yourself a winner. The characters, and their interactions, are fantastic and you find yourself rooting for them very quickly. Love, love, love this movie. Definitely something to check out if you’re not familiar with it.
Pictured: you guys crawling out of the woodwork just to watch this gem. Hopefully.
C.C. “Bud” Baxter (Lemmon) works for an insurance company and has a crush on elevator girl Fran Kubelik (MacLaine). To ingratiate himself with management he lets several of his bosses borrow his apartment for illicit rendez-vous with their various mistresses.
“We’ve worked out the new queuing system. Once we’ve covered ourselves, you will have one night a week in your own apartment.”
The Big Boss Jeff D. Sheldrake (MacMurray) learns of this arrangement and swaps two theatre tickets for a night at Bud’s place. Bud invites Fran to the show, but she stands him up since it turns out she is the girl Sheldrake has brought to the shag shack™.
Can you believe she stands a guy up after he’s taken the time to learn all about her, including her address, her social security number and her insurance status? Rude!
After Sheldrake doesn’t make good on his promise to divorce his wife for Fran, she tries to commit suicide in Bud’s apartment and he is left to care for her and pick up the pieces of his boss’ mess.
“I swear I’m a good guy. You can do so much better than Sheldrake. I know all about you, and I’m right here!”
The Apartment is funny and charming, and we really enjoyed it, but the men in this are generally questionable to say the least! Sheldrake is a real piece of work, as are the middle management bosses, and this is clear from the start. However, the character of Bud is only (partially) saved by being played by Jack Lemmon, who is very likable as an actor.
It’s near impossible to truly dislike someone who uses a tennis racket as a pasta strainer
Bud is well-meaning enough, but he exhibits some creepy stalker behaviour when trying to woo the “unseducable” Fran Kubelik. That being said, we really had fun watching this movie, and Fran is very likable and human even though she tries to kill herself over a guy…
Stalkery behaviour aside, at least Bud is a bit of a step up from this guy.
We will give The Apartment credit for being complicated – this is not a clear cut love story with perfect characters and a fairy tale ending. The characters are complex and flawed, and that’s one of the reasons it’s an enjoyable comedy and well worth seeing. Still, perhaps it’s time for Fran to be single for a while..?
In the days of the Roman Empire, Spartacus (Douglas) is born into slavery and sold to a gladiator school after exhibiting some disobedience. Batiatus (Ustinov), the owner of the school, sees some promise in him and provides him with training and a prostitute – anything he could possibly crave.
Trainer and former gladiator Marcellus is not a fan of his new pupil though, and when he notices Spartacus’ feelings for servant Varinia (Simmons) he makes a point of keeping them apart.
Ah, the feelings one can convey with only a glance when one is fearing for one’s life…
One day, a bunch of rich bitches come by and demand a fight to the death. One of the chosen fighters is our hero, but when he loses the battle, his fellow gladiator refuses to kill him and charges the spectators instead.
Draba just couldn’t let Spartacus go to his grave in that outfit, citing the theory that your ghost form will forever wear the clothes you had on when you died and no one deserved that fate
After Draba’s death, and the continued mistreatment of the gladiators, Spartacus leads a rebellion and marches on Rome, freeing and recruiting more slaves on the way. Their plan is to amass enough riches to hire pirates to take them all back to their countries of origin. However, the Roman leaders are furious that someone dares defy them and set out to capture and/or kill them all, particularly Roman Braveheart Spartacus.
“They make take our lives. But they may never take our freedom!”
Spartacus is an epic not unlike Ben Hur, and apparently it was Kirk Douglas’ response to not getting the part of the Judean hero. Clocking in at well over 3 hours each, we’re grateful to Edgar Wright and the list for finally convincing us to watch them because they are fantastic.
As an added bonus, Roman uniforms always remind us of Asterix
We loved the political games, the old slave couple, Batiatus (for some reason, ’cause he’s a bit of a bastard. We think it was the actor who saved him), the humour, all the men looking for consent from the women before sexy-times (as a powerplay, but still!), and the epicness of it all. If you have 3+ hours to spare, Spartacus is the way to go. It’s impossible to dislike a story of people who are mistreated and repressed and who fight back.
Also, Tony Curtis is there, being all handsome and musical
Now, we are sorry to end this blog entry on a sad note, but one of the reasons it has taken us two weeks to update this time is because our beloved doggo Dewin had to be put down last weekend. He was our trusty film watching partner, and the bestest boy, but he was old and sick, and in the end we had to do the only humane thing for our wonderful friend. We will always remember his enthusiasm when watching anything with animals, particularly westerns with lots of horses, and (for some reason) Ingmar Bergman films. He loved Bergman. He was a better and more sophisticated man than us. Thank you for the good times, Dewin. We love you.
Charlie Kohler/Edouard Saroyan (Aznavour) is a piano player in a dive bar, but a former classical concert pianist. When his brother Chico (Rémy) seeks him out to shelter him from a couple of gangsters he’s pissed off, Charlie gets dragged back into the criminal family he’s avoided for years.
“Just ran into the weirdest dude out there. Told me all about his marriage and his wife, completely unprompted. Oh, and also, I’m chased by some thugs and I need you to help me escape.”
Simultaneously, the shy and slightly awkward musician strikes up a relationship with waitress Léna (Dubois), but the gangsters follow them one night and the couple are kidnapped. However, they get on surprisingly well with their kidnappers.
Although not as well as Charlie gets on with his friendly neighbourhood prostitute next door
They get out of that fix unharmed, but as the gangsters become more and more determined to use Chico’s family members to track him down, Charlie realises he must flee and leave his girlfriend behind. Lest she ends up like his first wife…
“So, first there was the wife. That ended badly.” “How badly?” Well, she’s dead. Then there’s my neighbour Clarisse, but she’s more of a very good friend.” “How good?” “Oh, very, very good… But I swear I’m actually a good guy. Just very unlucky.”
Shoot the Piano Player is very different from our last encounter with Truffaut, The 400 Blows. It’s a bit Noiry, with the flashbacks, the past the main character cannot escape, the general bleakness and the occasional voiceover narration.
The trigger happy gangsters complete the picture (we loved them, although their casualness and easy conversation with their victims made them even scarier than your normal movie thugs)
It’s often sad, dark and depressing, but there are some fantastic laugh-out-loud moments which help alleviate the whole affair somewhat. We’ve been missing the noirs a bit lately (there were so many of them for a while there!), so we really enjoyed this one. Worth watching for fans of French New Wave, Film Noir, thrillers, dramas, and Truffaut in general.
Or fans of pianos. Or, indeed, people who hate piano players with a fiery vengeance.
1000 Films Blog 